Once they were alone, Jim steeled himself for the one question no one had asked yet, the one which broke his heart even to think about.

"Chief ...we found you...with your pants..."

Blair shook his head and smiled. "I think that was just for humiliation. They never even touched me there. No need for a rape kit."

"Thank God! Blair, if they had...Well, they didn't."

"I would have said something, I think. I hope. I don't know. Just hold my hand, Jim."

Jim did.

----------------------------------------

"Jim, you *are* taking me back to the station. I feel *fine*."

"We didn't spend three and half hours in that damned hospital because you feel fine, Sandburg."

"I'm just a little bruised."

"And broken. I don't care if it is just a hairline."

"Jim...I *need* to go back there. You know..."

Jim nodded. Blair, as usual, was right. Even though Dr. Priss...er, Peters had insisted that Blair rest in bed for a couple of days, he had to return to the station now.

No way could those bastards believe they scared him off.

"You win, Chief, but we're still going to stop at the loft to get clean clothes. If you have any clothes you aren't already wearing."

Blair tried to snort, but his nose didn't cooperate.

"It isn't my fault that Cascade is so cold."

----------------------------------------------------

"Blair!"

"Sandburg's back!"

"Captain Banks! He's back."

Simon dashed out of his office. "Sandburg!" There was an enormous grin on Simon's face. He quickly sobered, or tried to. "I'm glad to see you back, Blair."

"Thanks, Simon."

"Would the two of you please come to my office?"

"Of course, Captain. Do you have news for us?"

Henri grinned. "We got them. We surely got them."

"Brown!" Simon sounded exasperated.

Despite his tone, Simon was obviously too happy to be angry. He laughed as he led Jim and Blair into his office. He then proceeded to fuss over Blair, offering him coffee and giving him his own chair, and asking him if he were all right. Jim sat on the conference table and grinned at the scene.

"If everything's settled, Captain, we'd like to learn what happened to those..."

"Seriously out of work bastards? You sure you're all right, Sandburg?"

"Simon, I'm fine!"

Simon perched on his desk. "Okay. We used the clue that Blair gave us. There was one and only one uniform on the force who had come from the East Coast at all in the last year. It only took one phone call to personnel and a minor bribe of Rafe's mom's bundt cake to get the information."

Jim nodded. "That bundt cake can move mountains."

"Lady knows how to bake. Luckily, she loves Blair."

"That's because I *ask* for her recipes. Not that she ever gives them. Simon, get on with the story."

"Not much more to tell. Armed with this information, we went down to patrol and asked to see one Officer Peter Miller. Jim, Blair, you will be happy to know that Officer Miller had a shiner every bit as big as the ones you're sporting."

Jim made a fist. "Yesss! That's *my* partner. Take'em with you when you go."

Blair grinned weakly. "My mom would be so proud. *Not.*"

"Well, everyone in Major Crimes is proud of you. There was also blood on his truncheon. He'd tried to wash it, but didn't do a very good job. I'd say the Cascade PD was well rid of him."

"He wasn't alone, Simon. I *know* there were others." Blair sounded defiant.

"Oh, yes. He had three of his buddies with him, and he rolled over on *all* of them. They're in protective custody now. I had to hold myself back." Simon was smiling, but his eyes were blazing.

"Where are they now, Captain?" Jim had no plans to hold himself back.

"I'm not going to tell you, Jim. I don't want to be responsible for murder. Just know that they will never work in law enforcement again, except maybe as rent-a-cops."

Jim smiled. He had sources. Sources that would not require bundt cake bribes.

"Jim. No. I'm going to be fine. Let IA take care of it. Do *not* go after them."

Jim stared at Blair. Beaten, bruised, and broken, yet he was protecting them.

"Good, Blair. Turn the other cheek."

Blair turned towards Simon with a groan. "That's not my tradition, Captain. I want them to be punished. I want them on assault charges and I want their fellow prisoners to know exactly what they used to do for a living. I just want it done legally."

Jim nodded. It may not be as satisfying as breaking their noses himself, but it would be better in the long run. No, it wouldn't be. He'd just bide his time.

"Now then, gentlemen, I believe we have another issue to discuss?"

"Simon, do we have to talk about it now? Blair needs to go home and rest."

"Blair?"

Blair tried to shrug, but winced instead. "Whatever you want, Simon. I'm not going to feel better worrying about it."

Jim took a deep breath and nodded.

"First...what went on in the parking garage this morning? What exactly did Miller see?"

That morning seemed a million years ago. Jim tried to remember.

"We were in the truck. We were kissing."

"We were more than kissing, Simon. We were, well, making out."

"Don't you two have a bed? Honeymooners." Simon shook his head.

"Simon, he could not have seen anything more than a kiss, not in that truck or from any angle on the ground. Blair and I may have been indiscreet, but we are *not* exhibitionists."

Simon nodded. "It was still not a good idea. We're pretty comfortable with it up here, but the rest of the department isn't happy."

"Yeah...Simon, what's up with that? It sounds like you guys knew before we knew ourselves." Blair looked him straight in the eyes.

"We did." Simon grinned. "First of all, Jim, we all had you pegged as gay as soon as you transferred over from vice"

"Me!" They couldn't have...he'd been so...it wasn't possible.

"It wasn't just the way you dressed or that earring. Although, did you really think that putting it in your left ear would throw us off the track?"

Blair grinned. "The earring code? Oh, that's *so* eighties."

Jim glared at him. "So, what was it that...made you think I was..."

"Everything. You made straight guy's gaydar ping. The way you held yourself...the almost obsessive neatness. I tell you, Jim, we were all shocked when you married Carolyn."

"Who won the breakup pool?" Jim sounded bitter even to himself.

"There was no pool. Or, if there was, *I* didn't know about it. But no one was terribly surprised."

Jim buried his head in his hands. He heard Blair get up, and then his arms were around him.

"It's okay, Jim. If they've known about it this long, it obviously doesn't bother them."

"I was convinced I was in love with her, you know. She wasn't the first, and God knows she wasn't the last. The last woman I used to try to make myself..."

"I know, Jim. I know. But you don't have to do that anymore."

"No." Jim had to smile. Whatever problems Blair had brought to his life, he'd solved a dozen more.

"Ahem. If I may?"

"Of course, Captain. Blair...go back to your seat. Now."

"Yes, dear."

Jim gave him a look, but nothing could quell Blair. His grin lit the room as he limped back to Simon's chair.

Simon looked like he was holding back his own laughter. "Then this kid showed up. And you were arguing like a married couple almost from day one. Not to mention moving in together. Going out together. Spending all your time together. And you kept talking about women, but we almost never saw any."

"Come on, Simon. I dated most of the available women in the station." Blair's grin faded for a moment.

Simon looked at him. "You apparently were a perfect gentleman, too. You were just more successful at covering."

"I wasn't covering. Well, at least not my sexuality. I'm bi. I just...didn't want to be with anyone who wasn't, well...Jim."

Simon nodded. "That's what we saw. All of us. You two were so in love it hurt to watch. We used to talk about it when you were out of the station sometimes. Not because it bothered us. We were used to the idea by then. We were just jealous."

Jim blinked. "Jealous?"

"Some of us can only dream of being so much a part of someone else's life, Jim. Anyway, some thought you were already together, and some thought you were waiting for something, like a clue. And we had a pool."

"Yeah. The pool." This was his personal life! How dare they? They cared. That was it.

"The pool died. After all those years, most of us figured you'd started sleeping together without us knowing it, and just dated to cover. I was one. Joel was the only one who believed otherwise. And he's a wealthy man today."

"Oh, God. Don't make me laugh!" Blair was holding his stomach. "We were so worried when we finally owned up to each other. What would the guys think? How do we behave? How much do we touch each other? I was making *charts*. Not only were we blind to each other, we were blind to our friends."

"Why is that funny?" Jim was honestly confused.

"If I don't laugh, Jimlove, I'll cry. And right now, my nose couldn't stand crying. And it is funny."

Jim sighed. "The fact remains that while it's okay here, in Major Crimes, it is obviously *not* okay in the rest of the PD, and we are now thoroughly outed."

Blair sobered. "Yeah. I'm glad not to play the game anymore, but...I gotta admit, I'd have been so much happier not getting beaten up." He put his head down on Simon's desk.

"Captain, can we finish this later? I need to take my partner home to rest."

Simon nodded. "You take care of him, Jim. I'll call later to check."

Jim helped Blair to his feet and took him out of the building and home.

-------------------------------

Once in the apartment, Jim went straight to the kitchen to find something for dinner. Neither had eaten since breakfast.

"Chief? You want to go upstairs and I'll bring you something?"

Blair shook his head.

"Chief? Are you okay?"

Blair looked at him through the bruises. "Yeah. Oh, man. This has been a weird and *long* day."

"Tell me about it. Why don't you try to take a nap?"

"I wish I could. We gotta talk, Jim. There's too much hanging between us."

Fifteen minutes later, Blair sat down at the table while Jim dished out leftover soup.

Neither wanted to eat. Blair told him he had no appetite, which Jim understood, even if he didn't like it. He put the soup away again while Blair moved onto the couch. Jim watched him wrap himself around a sofa cushion. He looked impossibly young at that moment.

Jim put the bowls in the sink and sat next to him.

"We need to talk." He put his arms around Blair.

"Yeah. We haven't yet. We've been on a honeymoon. All these weeks." Blair moved away a little.

"They've been fun, Chief. If I'd have known you'd be this much fun in bed, I'd have pounced years ago."

"Love you, too. Jim...what Simon said?"

"You mean about tripping his gaydar?"

"Yeah. I don't even believe Simon *has* gaydar."

Jim shrugged. "I thought I hid it better. We've already talked this much to death. I don't...didn't want to be gay. You know...I've been in the closet since...hell, since I can remember. I've been deep in the closet. I looked...God, I was *always* looking...but never touched."

"Yeah. I know. I mean, you know I figured it out as soon as you shoved me against that wall, but I knew you weren't talking about it."

"I thought the army would make me a *man*. Cure me. You know. That's why covert ops, that's why the Rangers. The really macho ones, y'know."

Despite the bruises and the broken nose, Blair's smile was beautiful. Blair was beautiful period.

"Love you, too, Jim. I just don't know how I missed how you felt about me. Man, I was so surprised that night."

Jim nodded. "Blair, do you want to take a couple of days off? Not go back again? The perps are gone, and you did show up, so we can do this."

"I'm not scared, Jim. Are you?"

Jim was silent. He pulled Blair closer to him.

"Jim?"

"I don't know, Chief. I feel like everything has changed. I don't know anyone there anymore."

"They're the same people they were this morning, and this afternoon."

Jim shook his head. "I don't even want....I'm gay. And they know it, and they've known it for a long time. And this makes them different. They knew something about me all these years and never let on. It's like they lied to me all these years."

"It would have been okay if they hadn't figured it out? Think about it, Jim. It's like *you* were lying to them."

Jim nodded. "I was, wasn't I? It sounds stupid, but if they knew this and never said anything, then...I don't know."

Blair sighed. "You have to go in tomorrow. You're the same. They're the same. I'll be the same once these bruises fade."

"How did you manage it? Being bi?"

Blair grinned. "Nothing much to it. I was pretty nerdly until a couple of years ago. I couldn't get guys *or* girls to date me."

"You?"

"Yeah, me. And then, when out of nowhere, people started coming on to me I was amazed at first."

"You got over that."

"Nope. But I did start to have fun. And then I met you. I was, like, totally in love with you, but I figured you were Mr. Untouchable."

Jim smiled. "I was always in love with you, from the first moment you conned your way into my life."

"We wasted so much time...Jim, you *are* going in tomorrow."

"Yes, Chief. And you are going to bed."

"It's early, Jim. Look. Voyager isn't even on yet!"

Jim shook his head. "Chief, something really bothers me about that borg chick. I don't know how you can watch it."

Blair grinned for a moment, and the room lit up. Then the grin faded. "I...don't know if I will sleep tonight. Every time I close my eyes, I'm back in that bathroom."

He began to shake. Jim held Blair close and stroked his hair.

"It's okay. You're home, you're safe and I'm right here. No one is going to get you. Not with me standing guard. And I will stand guard over you forever."

"Forever?" Only Sentinel ears could have picked up that whisper.

"Yeah, Blair. If I can. Even if I can't. No one will hurt you again."

"You can't promise that, Jim. I don't want you to promise that." Blair pulled away and looked at him. "Things happen. Today happened, and it was *not* your fault. It was the fault of the jerks with the nightsticks. Other things will happen, to both of us. But...I will love you forever."

Jim nodded, but he knew that if he could protect this man, he would. He gathered him closer again. "Love you, too. For as long as we have."

He could feel Blair smile and relax in his arms.

Blair's breathing evened. Soon, his weight seemed to increase. He'd fallen asleep in Jim's embrace.

He was heavy, but Jim didn't mind. Just for this moment, Jim knew he could protect him, could keep him safe.

Just for the moment, he knew that he was happy.

Jim thought back to the first time he held Blair like this.

It had only been a few weeks ago. They were sitting on the sofa watching some rerun or other. Rather, Jim was, with the set turned down to Sentinel level. Blair was working on some quizzes. During a commercial, Jim had turned to look at him. He'd been struck by Blair's beauty from the beginning, but somehow, at that moment, he was irresistible.

He was wearing his glasses, and his hair was loose around his face, and he was clearly concentrating on what he was doing. Jim had seen him like this hundreds of times during the past several years, but somehow, *this* time he reached out and grabbed Jim's heart.

The next Jim knew, he was touching Blair's hair, moving it away from that face so he could see more of it.

Blair, surprised, looked up, straight into Jim's eyes. He didn't pull away. Instead, he smiled and leaned into Jim's hand, and kissed the wrist.

Jim gathered him into his arms. Nothing had ever felt so good, so right, so perfect as that moment. Words would have profaned it.

Blair seemed to know that as well, because he remained silent himself. He wrapped his arms around Jim, and buried his head in Jim's chest.

They sat like that for a time, just feeling each other's presence. Then, Jim tipped Blair's head up and they kissed. Maybe Jim had meant it to be soft and sweet, but didn't start out that way, and it didn't end up that way.

He didn't know where this hunger was born, or if perhaps it had always been inside of him, but it was there now. It drove him to hold Blair close and devour his mouth as Blair matched him, move for move.

He had no idea how long they were that way, exploring each other's mouths and bodies, but it was long enough and deep enough that Jim felt as though their lips had reach past the merely physical. Their souls were touching. Nothing had ever been so intimate.

He wanted to stay like that forever. He couldn't imagine ever needed anything more. But there was more. Some unspoken signal passed between them, and they released each other. Blair smiled, and took Jim's hand and together they climbed the stairs.

They swiftly undressed, and clasped each other again, gasping softly at the feel of skin on skin. One pulled the other to the bed, and they began to kiss again, moving against each other.

He had to feel Blair, had to know him with all of his senses, as Blair seemed to need to explore him. Hands, tongue, nose - whatever organs Jim could use, that Blair could use, were everywhere.

Jim knew what he wanted, knew what he'd dreamed about all those years. And when he rolled to his side, Blair understood. He could feel Blair's hands - large and skilled and gentle, inside of him, slick with the lotion he'd kept by his bed, next to the condoms he'd purchased for no accountable reason.

Softly, he moaned, and felt Blair kiss his back and stroke him with the other hand. Then...he was ready. He knew it, and so did Blair.

And Blair was inside of him, and had his arms and legs wrapped around him and Jim knew for that moment at least, he was safe and loved. As their bodies joined, he could feel their souls and their hearts, for a time, becoming one.

Then Blair began to move in that eternal rhythm, the one that matched the needs of Jim's body, the one no one else had ever found, and Jim felt the pressure grow as Blair, already deep, went still deeper, until he hit *that* spot and the world shook.

There was that hand again, reaching in front and echoing the other movement. This was yet another time that Jim wanted to prolong, to make last forever. Nothing does, though, and they both, one after the other, came in silence.

Jim turned over, and held Blair again. Blair buried his head in Jim's chest and Jim was able to fulfill yet another dream as he slept with his arms full of the man he loved.

That had been weeks ago. Those weeks had been the happiest days he'd ever had - a honeymoon, as Blair had said earlier. Each act of love had been as sacred and special, if not necessarily as silent, as they'd explored the pleasures of each other's body.

And now, that time was over, thanks to some bigots in uniform. Jim held Blair gently and stroked his hair as Blair slept, as he held his life in his arms.

Blair began to stir. "No! Get away from me! Jim!"

"Shh, buddy. I'm here. No one else is here."

Blair clung to him tightly. "Jim! Keep them away. Don't let them...they'll hurt you, Jim."

"No. No one's hurting anyone. Wake up, Chief. Wake up!"

"No, no, no, Jim! Don't! No! Let them be! Jim, no! Don't! Let them...don't!"

"What? Don't what?"

Blair blinked and his eyes began to focus. "Don't go after them, Jim. It won't help. I dreamed...I dreamed you were chasing those guys and caught them and hurt them and then *you* were in trouble and I couldn't see you again! Jim, don't!"

Jim kissed him gently on his bruised eyes. "I'm not. IA will take care of them properly. I promised Simon and I'll promise you. I want to...God knows I want to...but I won't." He wouldn't. Not if it would make Blair upset.

Blair nodded. "Good."

"Now, then, Sandburg, let's get you upstairs and into bed. We have a busy day tomorrow."

"We do?"

"Yeah. We have to be in bright and early tomorrow morning. Have to go to work."

"Yeah, Jim. *We* do. You'll stay with me until I go to sleep?"

"Blair, I'll never let you go."

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