If Wishes Were Horses...

Debra Fran Baker

debra.baker3@verizon.net


Dedicated to Duranee, who bought this at auction. Much thanks to Rusty and Righ for their betas. Formerly published in Come to Your Senses #16.


The sun was setting over the Colorado mountains. James Ellison was entranced. Between his enhanced vision and the clarity of the air around him, it was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. His partner, Blair Sandburg, sighed beside him. Jim turned to look.

Blair's eyes were wide with wonder as he stared at the mountains. His hair had gotten loose from its tie and was blowing around his face, hiding and revealing a gentle half-smile. He was so beautiful even the sunset could only enhance, not compete. Jim silently thanked whoever was responsible for them being here this day.

*************************

"Chief, want to go to a wedding?" Jim paused in sorting through his mail to look at a simple card.

"Depends. Who's getting married?" Blair limped to the table carrying a plate with a sandwich. It had only been a short time since he'd been shot in the leg by an escaped felon, but he was healing and regaining strength in it rapidly.

"Old buddy of mine. He has this ranch in Colorado, and he's having the wedding there. Note with the invitation says that he'll even put us up."

"'Us,' Jim?" Blair grinned around his food.

"Well, it's addressed to James Ellison and Friend. I think that means you."

"I think he expects you to bring a girlfriend, not your roommate. Surely there is someone you're willing to spend a couple of days with in Colorado."

"Yeah. You."

"Oh, man. I mean some woman. Someone you can share the romance of...of the horses with. Someone who can maybe *ride*."

Jim closed his eyes briefly. *You're the only one I want to do that with, Chief.* "It's a few weeks away. Your leg'll be better by then."

"Oh, man. You're not getting this at all. I *don't* ride. I never learned."

Jim smiled. "Then I'll teach you. You'll love it, Sandburg. I promise. Look, I'll call Scotty right now and ask him if it's okay if I bring you instead of a date. Okay?"

Blair shrugged. "Fine by me. Going to a real ranch should be fun no matter what. At least it's a chance to get out of Cascade."

Jim nodded as he walked to the phone and dialed the number on the invitation. "Hey, Scotty! Just got the invite. Congratulations!"

"Ellison! How you doing? Thanks...I got me the prettiest lady ever. You coming? You want, you can come up a week early. I got plenty of room at the ranch."

"Depends. Is it okay if I bring my friend Blair Sandburg with me?"

"Sure thing. Can your friend ride?"

"Rank beginner, but a fast learner. Speaking of...you got any *real* saddles up there or should I bring my own?"

"You still using those sissy English sidesaddles? You won't find them on my ranch."

"I'll dig one up. Looking forward to seeing you. And congratulations again."

"You, too, Jim. And thanks!"

Jim put down the phone with a grin. "He invited us up for the week. I'll have you riding broncos by then."

"Not on your life, Jim. I'm *not* getting on any horse." But Blair was smiling as he said that, so Jim relaxed. He wanted to see Blair riding with the wind, even a gentle wind.

**************

"So, where's that friend of yours, Jim?" To Jim's amusement, Blair tried to peer over the heads of the crowd, looking for a guy he'd never met.

"Chief, he's right over there. I'll take you there." Shouldering his luggage, Jim clapped a Stetson on his head and led him to where Scotty was standing, waving his hand frantically. He heard Blair sigh as he followed.

"Ellison! There you are! Get over here." Scotty stopped waving. He grinned, his green eyes sparkling in his tanned face beneath his cowboy hat. Jim stuck his hand out, but Scotty would have none of that. He pulled Jim into a hug, not noticing how Jim stiffened in his arms as the wave of aftershave, grass and horse came over him. "I thought you said you were bringing someone named Blair with you."

Jim freed himself. "He's right here." Jim pointed to his partner.

Blair waved. "Hi. Blair Sandburg."

Scotty blinked a couple of times. "I thought...Jimmy, you sure have changed since I last saw you." He grinned. "Welcome to Colorado, Blair. Any friend of Jimmy's a...well, welcome." He stuck out his hand. "What? No hug?" Blair took it after tossing Jim a look. "Congratulations, man."

"Thanks, Sandburg. Glad to have you. My truck's waiting outside. Let me take some of those bags, guys."

"Why don't you take this one, Howard?" Jim handed him a very large and heavy bag. "Picked this one up just for this trip."

Scott looked into the bag. "You did bring one of those sis...English saddles. And I thought I was going to make a m...a cowboy out of you." He gave both of them funny looks, then smiled again.

"Come along, boys. I have a real ranch supper planned for you two. Here's the truck."

Jim stood still while Blair burst out laughing. "Now I *know* you two have been friends a long time." He looked at the blue and white pickup and laughed again. "Don't tell me. It's a '69, too."

"It's a good year for trucks, Chief." Jim fought to hide his own smile.

"Actually, it's a '71, but I wouldn't drive anything else." Scott unlocked the doors and tossed their baggage in the back, taking special care for the saddle.

"You drive a '69, Jimmy? I kind of figured you for a sports car."

Jim shrugged. "I'm not the man I used to be."

"I can *see* that. Why don't you boys climb in."

They settled themselves in the front seat, with Jim in the middle. "Just how far is this ranch of yours, Scotty? This airport is pretty far off the beaten track as it is."

They'd ended up taking a tiny commuter plane from Denver on their final leg. Blair had spent the trip holding on to his seat with both hands, clearly willing the plane to stay aloft.

"Couple of hours. Why don't you boys just take a nap? I'll get us there in no time."

"Great idea, man. But won't we miss the scenery?"

"Plenty of scenery where we're going, and it looks much better on horseback."

Blair shrugged. "I'll take your word for it."

"Good man." Scotty started the truck and took her onto the highway. Blair scrunched himself up by the window and promptly fell asleep. Jim looked at him with a mixture of envy and carefully hidden delight. Blair could have no idea how he looked when he was asleep, but Jim enjoyed every chance he had to watch him.

Despite Scotty's words, the scenery they sped through was spectacular. Jim was tempted to wake Blair so he could see it all through his eyes as well, but he'd had a rough flight. The mountains were beautiful, though. Almost hypnotic...

"Okay, you two, Rise and shine! We're here."

uh-oh

Scott's voice sounded very far away. He liked where he was. He wanted to stay.

"Jim...Jim...listen to my voice." *That* voice was clearer. And there was something warm on his shoulder. "Come back, Jim." He had to listen. It was Blair. He blinked his eyes, which suddenly hurt.

"What's wrong with him, Sandburg?"

"Guess he got hypnotized by the highway. You know how intense he can get."

"Yeah. Does this happen a lot?"

"No. And not if he's driving or something, but..."

"Keep this up, Chief, and Scotty here will never let me on a horse. Must have fallen asleep." Once again, he thanked fate for his partner's ability to think on his feet.

"Let's get you two settled, okay?" He whistled, and two large men in jeans, boots and plaid shirts sauntered up. "Josh, Mike, help my guest here with their bags, please. I've put them in the corner guest room. I guess you two won't mind sharing?" Scotty grinned.

Jim took a look around the spread as he left the truck. There was a good sized house next to a large garage, and he could see stables and barns not too far away. He could smell them, too - a clean, rich smell of well-kept horses, fresh hay and leather. It brought back some of the happiest days of his childhood.

He, his father and Stephen would spend hours training and riding when he was a kid. He didn't know what he liked more - the cross-country riding and racing or the dressage training with a horse so intelligent and responsive it took almost no pressure to make her flow though the corners.

"Beautiful place, Scotty. A man could be really happy here."

"I am. Can't think of a better place to raise a family. Marian and I both agree on that one."

"Are we going to meet the bride-to-be, Scott?" Blair shaded his eyes as he took in the scenery. "Man, those mountains are fantastic. I could look at them forever, become one with them."

"You'll meet her tonight. She's in town now with her mom, getting groceries."

Blair nodded. "It is *so* cool here."

"Why don't you boys get to your room? Dinner'll be in about an hour. Hope you like steaks."

"Think you can handle some red meat, Chief?" Jim slapped Blair on the shoulder.

Blair rolled his eyes. "No problem, Jim."

They followed the ranchhands to the west corner room. The afternoon sun made the room bright and cheerful as it flowed through the large windows. The furnishings were spare and elegant, all in natural oak. There was a couple of chairs near a table under a window, a nice sized dresser, two nighttables and a carved and polished headboard. Jim and Blair looked at each other. There was only one headboard because there was only one bed - a queen sized bed covered in bleached linens.

While they stood in shock, the ranchhands dropped their luggage and left them alone. Then Blair blinked and started to laugh. As Jim stared at him, the laughter continued until finally his partner was gasping for breath.

"What's so funny, Sandburg?"

"Ji...im...d..don't you...you see it? Oh, man!" And he was off again. Every time he tried to explain, he just started laughing harder. Finally, Jim could not stand it and grabbed his shoulders.

"Chief, what is so damn funny about this?"

Blair took a couple of deep breaths. "Wh..en Scotty picked us up, he was looking for someone *else* to be with you. Someone named Blair."

"Last I looked, that was *your* name."

"Yeah, but most people named Blair don't look like me."

"What do most Blairs look like?"

"Girls. Women. *Female*. He was *expecting* you to bring a *girlfriend*."

Blair collapsed again. Jim's eyes widened. "That...oh, God... but why...oh, no...and..." He began to laugh himself. "Oh, no..he thinks...he thinks..."

Blair could only nod vigorously while looking at the bed. "He...thinks...you...you and...me...are..."

"And...that's...that's why he...didn't change the room. He thinks...you're my boyfriend!"

Blair nodded again. "As if...as if...oh, God. Jim, he really thinks you'd...with *me*?"

Jim suddenly sobered. "Why not? You're pretty cute."

Jim grinned to himself as Blair stumbled against the luggage in shock.

"Uh...Jim, please don't joke about things like that."

Jim reached out a hand to pick him up. "I'm not joking."

Blair took it and hauled himself upright, but when he moved to take it back, Jim held on tightly. "Jim? I'm sorry, this does not make any sense." Jim let go, reluctantly. Blair's hand had fit so right in his.

Blair walked to the chairs under the window and sat down. He was backlit by the setting sun so Jim couldn't see his face well, while the tendrils of hair that had escaped his ponytail glowed red, framing him in fire.

"I'm sorry, Chief. I'm a coward. I should have told you years ago, but I was afraid of your reaction."

"Reaction?"

"Yeah."

"Did you think I'd go into some...panic or something? Oh, man."

"No, no, Chief. I know that if you had a gay roommate or whatever, you wouldn't care. Hell, you'd fix him up, right?"

"Depends. If he were good-looking enough..." Even though Jim couldn't see his eyes, he *knew* Blair was looking right at him. "Jim...man, have *we* been crossing signals. We're as bad as your friend Scott." He started to laugh again.

"Sandburg, this is not funny." Except that Blair's laughter was contagious and it all of a sudden *was.*

Finally, weak from laughter, Jim fell to the bed.

Blair struggled for breath. "Man, we have *got* to have a *long* talk."

"For once, I agree with you." He patted the bed next to him. "But I want to see that face of yours while we do."

As Blair struggled to his feet, there was a knock on the door. "You boys decent?"

"It's open, Scotty!"

Scott walked in with a pretty woman about his own age. "I thought you two would like to meet my lady. Marian Andrews, this is my old buddy, Jim Ellison, and his...partner, Blair Sandburg."

She held out her hand. "I'm happy to meet you both. Welcome."

Jim, who had rapidly scrambled to his feet, bent over her hand. "You have my best wishes, Marian. He's a good guy."

Blair stood up and waved. "Nice to meet you, Marian. Congratulations."

"Thank you. I hope you like the room - I think it has one of the best views in the whole house."

She smiled at both of them as she indicated the windows, now glowing dull red in the sunset. "I just wanted to meet the two of you before dinner. We'll let the two of you get ready...say about fifteen minutes or so?"

Jim nodded. "We'll be there on time. Casual dress?"

"Jimmy, I have never dressed for dinner, and I'm not about to start now." Scott grinned and waved as he and his lady left the room.

"I guess we'll have to postpone that talk until later, Chief. We have just enough time to get ourselves unpacked and make ourselves presentable." Blair nodded. He was already filling a drawer with the contents of his suitcase. He pulled his shaving kit out and headed for a door that was either a closet or a bathroom. When he disappeared inside, Jim figured he'd found the right one. He put his own things away in another drawer, and hung his shirts up in what had to be the closet since there was no other choice. He left one light plaid number out and changed into it.

Blair emerged from the bathroom freshly shaved, with his hair combed. He took a look at Jim. "You think I should change my shirt, too?"

"Might not be a bad idea, Chief. You're looking a little rumpled."

"All of my shirts look rumpled. But I'll see what I have." He rummaged through his drawer and took out a sweater. "How's this?"

"That's the one I gave you for your birthday, right?" Jim smiled at him.

"Hmm." Blair took another look at it and put it away, taking out a different one. When he took off his top shirt and slipped the sweater over his head. It didn't fit as well as the first, but the blue did set off his eyes.

"Better?"

Jim nodded. "We'd better get down. I have a feeling if we show up late, we'll find the dogs eating our food."

Blair grinned, but something looked strained. "I hope we can just *find* the...the dining room or mess hall or chuck wagon or *whatever* it's called."

"Well, I guess we can just follow our noses."

"We can follow *your* nose."

Blair grinned at Jim.

"That would get me the kitchen. Not a bad idea."

However, when they opened the door to their room, they found a tall, skinny man with a weather-beaten face waiting for them. He stuck out a hand. "Hey. My name's Bob, and I'm the ranch foreman. Scott figured you'd get lost in this maze. You're Mr. Ellison and, er, *Mr.* Sandburg, right?"

"Jim and Blair, Bob. Pleased...and somewhat relieved to meet you." Both men shook.

"Yeah, man. Now, which way's the food?"

"Just follow me, fellows."

He led them to a great room just off the kitchen. It was filled with four long tables, three parallel and one perpendicular across the top. There were already people sitting down and talking. Jim, who was starving, could smell each and every item on the menu and had to expend great effort not to drool. Bob grinned at him and indicated a pair of seats at the top table. "You two sit there, near Scott and Marian."

The couple waved to them as they approached, with Bob close behind, to sit on their other side. Blair blinked at the arrangement.

"Oh, man. Scott, you could be the lord of the manor."

Scott grinned. "It does look that way, doesn't it? But *these* 'serfs' are here of their own free will, can leave if they find something better and have a decent benefit package. Right, Bob?"
"Yes, my lord. Anything you say, my lord." To Jim's surprise, Bob kept a straight face. On the other hand, Marian and Scott were hysterical.

People began to stream out of the kitchen carrying enormous bowls of salad and pitchers and carafes of dressing. They placed these all along the tables and took their own places with everyone else.

"We grow most of our own produce. There is no way you could get a fresher salad." Scott piled his plate high and doused it with dressing.

While Blair happily demolished several platesful, Jim and Scott spent as much time reminiscing as they did eating. Several times, they managed to get both Blair and Marian laughing. Bob remained taciturn, as did others at the "high" table.

When the bowls and pitchers were empty, the servers jumped up and cleared things away. Almost immediately, some returned with big dishes of cooked vegetables and baskets of breads. Others conducted a poll to find out how people wanted their steaks. When one got to the head table, Scott and Marian both opted for well-done, but Jim asked for blood rare and Blair for medium rare. The server looked surprised at this, but nodded anyway.

The steak, when it arrived, was perfect - seared on the outside and almost cold on the inside. He ignored the looks of disgust from either side and dug in.

"This is incredible, Scott!"

"You should try it cooked some day, Jim. This is from our herds, of course. We have free range beef cattle and buffalo out there, and it turns a nice profit."

Jim continued to chat with their host and hostess as he wolfed down as much good, hearty ranch cooking as he could between words. Blair, on the other hand, was uncharacteristically silent. He played with his vegetables and ate about half his steak before pushing it away. Even when the parade of servers brought on dessert - several choices of pies and cakes, plus homecranked ice cream - Blair barely touched it.

Part of it had to be the stares they were getting. Despite his own hopes for the evening, Jim was seriously considered telling Scott the truth and getting Blair his own room. The problem was, he and Blair both knew that that wouldn't stop the talk.

The other part...was Blair worried about this night? He had no reason to be, but the human mind is a strange thing, and the Sandburg one was stranger than most.

"Jim, is something wrong with your...friend?" Marian peered over both Scott and Jim to look at Blair.

"It was a difficult trip and a longish day. Everything was just wonderful, Marian. Should I compliment your chef?"

Scott grinned. "Cookie'll be pleased to hear it. I'll pass it along to him. Why don't you get...him to bed? Breakfast is at six for hands and seven for slugabeds like Marian. After that, you have to go to the kitchen and beg."

Jim nodded. "I wouldn't miss it."

"Great. Come on down to the stables afterwards, and we'll fix the two of you up with mounts."

Blair frowned. "Mounts? Like in horses? You're not getting me on any horse."

Scott and Marian looked at each other. "You've never ridden? Ever?"

Blair was taken aback. "Why is that surprising? Lots of people never rode a horse."

"We'll take care of that, honey." Marian smiled. "Ol' Kris'll make a rider out of you in no time. You just come out to the horse barn with Jim and we'll get you set up right." Blair shook his head vehemently.

"Chief, we'll talk about that in the morning. Let's get back to...the room. We're getting up early tomorrow."

Blair nodded and pushed himself away from the table. He thanked their hosts and shook hands with them. Jim noticed that he really did look tired. Maybe they should postpone that talk a little longer and just sleep this night.

"Think you can find your way back to your room alone?" Bob smiled slowly from the other side of Marian.

Jim nodded. "I left a trail of bread crumbs. We'll be fine."

It didn't take long to climb the two flights of stairs and find the big corner room. As soon as they were inside, Blair grabbed something from the dresser and disappeared inside the bathroom. A few minutes later he emerged, looking all too cuddly in ratty old sweats.

Jim, who had seated himself, still dressed, cross-legged on the bed, smiled. "Want to join me, Chief?"

"Ummm..." Blair bit his lip and sat on the same chair he'd been in earlier.

"Chief? What's wrong?"

"Oh, man. Jim, I think I gave you *entirely* the wrong message earlier."

Jim grew chilled. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, like, when I was laughing and all that?"

"Yeah..."

"I...I gave you the idea that I might be attracted to you, right? I mean, I've been worried about that all night."

"You mean..." This was a mistake. This had to be a mistake.

"I mean, man, I'm pretty well on the straight side of the curve, you know? I got nothing about appreciating a male form...and believe me, Jim, you are the most appreciable male form I know...but..."

"Damn. Ummm, Blair..."

"Look, I figured you were on the gay side of bi a long time ago. I just didn't...you *like* me?"

"More than like you, Chief." Jim knew he was watching everything crumble away.

"I mean...I'm such a dork. I've seen the guys you hang with in the gym...just like you."

"Don't...you are..." He wanted to say "adorable." He wanted to say "cute." He wanted to say "beautiful." "Just fine, Sandburg. Put you with those guys and no one would notice *them*. Or me."

"Jim...oh, God. You..."

"I'm going to find Scott right now and explain the mistake and ask for another room."

"Jim?"

"And...Blair, when we get home..." He couldn't live without Blair.

"You're asking me to leave."

"No! I just want you to know that...that I'll never do anything you don't want. Ever."

Even if it killed him.

"I...I don't understand."

"Sand...Blair...this is probably the stupidest thing I've ever said. I know you don't return it, but you need to know it. I love you. I'm *in* love with you."

Blair sat back in his chair. "Oh, God. Jim...Jim, I love you, too. Just not in *that* way. I mean, there's nothing wrong...I'm...oh, God. I'm sorry. What a total mess!"

"I'm sorry. I meant what I said. I'll go find Scott now." He uncrossed his legs and sat on the edge of the bed, looking for his boots.

"Don't. Everyone will just think we had a lover's quarrel." Blair got up from his chair and walked to the bed. He knelt by Jim. "I know you. You wouldn't break your word to save your life."

"Not as far as you're concerned." He looked as deeply into those wise gentle eyes as he could. Blair looked back and smiled. "If it were possible, you'd be my life. As it is...having you for a best friend and partner is...a gift by itself. One I will not take the chance of losing." Never, my angel. "So, this subject is now closed. The next subject...getting Blair Sandburg on a horse."

"No way, man! You are *not* getting me on a horse." Blair leaned back on his heels, looking decidedly relieved at the change in subject.

"It'll be fine. There is no better way to see this countryside than on horseback. Besides, I'm sure that Scott has the right horse for you."

"Right. I'm going to fall and break something I'd rather not break."

Jim had to grin. "So? I'll catch you. Come on, Sandburg. I promise you, it's safer than a helicopter or jumping off a cliff."

"Once. I'll do it once. Okay?"

"That's all I ask, Sandburg."

Blair nodded, once, and stood up. He found his backpack and took out a book, then straightened and considered. He nodded again, as if to himself and walked to the other side of the bed, and got under the covers. He then opened his book and started to read.

Jim smiled a little, knowing that Blair couldn't see him. He got out a pair of pajama pants and an old t-shirt and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and change. He knew that unless things changed, things would not be casual between them for a long time.

He found his own book - a collection of essays he'd been wanting to read for awhile - and settled next to Blair, pretending not to notice he was close enough to touch.

For a long time, the room was silent except for the sound of turning pages. At one point, Blair got up to find a notebook and pen to jot something down. Eventually, the stresses of the day, between traveling and emotions, got the better of them and first one then the other turned off their lights and settled down to sleep.

Or at least, to pretend to sleep. Jim could only think about the man lying forever out of reach next to him. It would be a long night...and judging from Blair's breathing patterns, it would be just as long for him.

********************

He was wrong. Hours later, Jim opened his eyes to see the full moon streaming into the room through those western windows. It outlined Blair's hair in silver as he sat sleeping in the armchair, wrapped up in a blanket. For some reason, Jim checked the other side of the bed. It was empty.

Jim was surprised at how much it hurt to see him there. When had he decided to sleep elsewhere? What had happened to chase him away? And would he never get the chance to watch Blair sleep on the bed beside him instead of dozing on the couch or napping during stakeouts? Would he get those again, either?

Even backlit by moonlight, maybe especially backlit by moonlight, Blair was beautiful. Jim wondered if he'd ever get the chance to tell him that. He got up and quietly used the bathroom, taking care not to disturb his partner, and then curled himself around a pillow to try to sleep some more.

*****************

"Jim, Jim, wake up! Jim!"

Blair's voice. Morning.

"You're up already, Chief?" Blair was sitting on the bed, already dressed in his normal jeans and layers, his damp hair pulled back neatly.

"Yeah. New place...had a hard time sleeping." The blanket was gone. There was no evidence that Blair had spent most of the night in a chair. Jim wondered if he'd dreamed it.

"Sandburg, if you were uncomfortable, I'm sure we can get Scott to change the room."

"No! I mean, don't worry about it. I'll be fine. Hey, Jim...I know it's really early, but I don't feel like begging for breakfast this morning. It's getting on to seven. Want to get ready?"

"Good idea." He took his clothes into the bathroom as casually as he could and ten minutes later, emerged showered, shaved and dressed in the tightest jeans he owned. He sat down on the bed with some difficulty and pulled on his boots. Blair watched him bemusedly.

"Can you breathe in those, Jim?"

"Just about." He grunted with effort. "These are the closest thing to riding breeches I could bring with me." He stood up. Blair's eyes bulged a bit.

*Not interested in guys, Chief?* He was wearing the jeans for riding purposes, but it seems they had side benefits.

"Jim...you wear those and we'll never stop those rumors."

"Sandburg, there is nothing I could wear that will stop those rumors. Face it, Casanova. You'll never pick a girl this trip."

"Are you kidding?" Blair grinned. "Now I'm a challenge. Can they use their feminine wiles to bring me to the light?"

Jim fought down the jealousy. It was surprisingly hard, despite all the practice he'd had. "Get dressed, Chief."

"It...oh, God. Jim...I'm sorry. Tell you what...I'll just try to learn to ride this trip, okay?"

Jim nodded. They found their way back to the great room in time to eat breakfast with other "late risers." A server put a platter of huevos rancheros in front of them and indicated a thermos carafe of coffee.

Blair took a helping of the eggs and carefully tasted them. He shook his head, and caught the server's eye. "*Mi amigo necessita huevos fritos, sin salsa. (?)Es possible?*" The server looked at Blair and smiled.

"*Si, senor. Diez minutos, (?)bien?*"

"*Bien.*"

The server walked off to the kitchen as Blair took muffins from the basket in front of him. "You can start on this."

"Is it really that spicy, Chief?"

"Trust me, Jim. It's barely at my level of tolerance. I'm surprised you can't smell it."

Jim concentrated slightly. Oh, yeah. It hurt even to breathe it. "Damn. It looks so good. I used love huevos rancheros."

"I'll make some you *can* eat when we get back, okay?" Blair flashed him a bright smile.

"You'll still be there? Home, I mean?"

Jim tried to keep the desperation out of his voice.

Blair looked at him. "I'm not going anywhere. You'll have to throw me out if you want me gone."

Jim couldn't help smiling. Before he could reply, the server appeared with platter of fried eggs and bacon. He thanked the server in Spanish and filled his plate happily.

They finished in silence, and made their way out of the house. Scott was out front talking to one of his men. He waved at them. "Jim! Blair! We've been waiting for you!"

They walked over. "Morning, Scotty."

"Morning, Jim. How'd you like breakfast? I had Cookie make'em extra spicy, the way you like'em."

He exchanged glances with Blair. "Ummm, Scotty..."

"They were *great*, Scott. But...you know police work. Stressful. So..." Blair winked.

"Oh...sorry. Shoulda thought. Okay, we'll reduce the fire from now on. Anyway, boys, this is Rick Sontag. He's my head groom."

"I hear you ride some, Mr. Ellison."

"Jim. I did, when I was younger. Even did some shows. But I've only been on a horse a couple of times in the last ten years, Mr. Sontag."

"I think we can make you happy. And your...buddy here..."

"I've never ridden a day in my life, Rick." Blair's grin outshone the sun.

Rick grinned back. "I have just the mount for you." He turned to Scott. "I'm gonna give'em Ol'Kris. If he can't teach him to ride, he's hopeless."

Scott laughed. "You got *that* right." He led them to the horse barn, Jim hefting the bag with his saddle. There were a number of horses out front. One was a big fat chestnut gelding with one white foot, already saddled and ready. Jim grinned as his reluctant partner was led to meet him. Rick even dug into his pocket and produced a bit of sugar. Blair made a face as the horse licked it from his hand.

Jim would have liked to watch more, but Scott was propelling him to the other horses. "I figured you would want your choice, Jim. These are among our best riders. Take your pick."

They were an impressive lot. Jim could see that right away, but there was one which caught his eye immediately.

She was a tall, elegant chocolate brown mare with beautiful conformation and a fiery eye. There seemed power to spare in her long legs, but she moved as if she were dancing. "I think I'm in love, Scott. You got an apple or something?"

He took the piece of fruit and walked up the horse. She took it eagerly. "Hello, pretty lady. What's your name? You want to dance?" He petted her nose gently.

"You're supposed to be riding her, not dating her, Jim."

"What's the difference? And what's her name?"

Scott chuckled. "If you can't tell the difference, no..." He coughed. "Her name's Riverwind's Dancing Lady. Dancer. She's a beauty, all right. She's also one of our more difficult rides."

Jim wasn't surprised. "This lady was not trained for your type of riders. Isn't that right, pretty girl?" He took his own saddle out of the bag. He'd purchased years ago, when he'd done some riding in college. It was more than he could afford at the time, but it was worth it...a supple black leather beauty that fit him perfectly and let him *feel* the horse under him.

The ranch hands stared at it. "What is that thing? A sidesaddle?"

"Nah. It's for dresSAGE. It's a wonder he's not wearin' them fancy white pants, too."

"Or that fancy helmet, neither."

Jim heard the taunts but ignored them. He asked for a light blanket and made it into a pad. To his relief, his saddle fit her just fine. He noted that she had a snaffle bit on her bridle, so he let it be. He gave her one last pat and mounted up.

She danced a little as he settled his weight on her, but settled down almost immediately. Jim waved away the groom holding her bridle. She looked skeptical but nodded and stepped aside.

"That's it, my lady. Yes. Now let's see what you can do." He made himself relax and just feel her beneath him. Then he applied the slightest pressure he could to her sides, and she began to walk. He changed it and she stopped. "They were riding you all wrong, weren't they?" He looked at Scott, who was staring at him in astonishment. "Is there a ring I can use?"

Scott nodded and pointed to a structure behind the barn. "Stay there as long as you want."

Jim nodded and managed to steer her to the ring while barely touching the bridle. She was one of the most response mounts he'd ever had. He then proceeded to lose himself in the ring just discovering all of Dancer's tricks and moves. He was, of course, aware of the crowd he'd collected, but chose to ignore it. Just for that time, all there were was the two of them...just like he often felt when he was working with Blair.

He spent the rest of the morning putting Dancer through her paces. By the time the sun was high in the sky, he felt as if he'd known this horse forever. More...as she flowed through the corners at his slightest directions, he felt as though they were one being moving around the ring. He didn't want to stop but she was getting tired and he wanted time to groom her and take a shower before lunch.

Dancer stood perfectly still as he dismounted. He gave her a pat on the neck. "Beautiful, pretty lady. Let's get you taken care of."

As he walked out of the ring, he spied Blair riding that old chestnut gelding around the ring. He was clumsy, barely maintaining his seat, but he was also clearly working with the horse. He didn't want to distract him, so Jim just kept leading Dancer back to the stable. A groom showed him where her stall was, and how to find the brushes and other supplies he needed. It had been a long time since he'd taken care of a horse properly, but he found it all came back to him - and Dancer loved it.

When she was groomed and her tack put away, and she'd had some water, he gave her nose a final pat, said reluctantly said goodbye.

He headed back to the room for his shower. By the time he'd finished and had found clean clothes, Blair had gotten back.

His hair was half out of the tie and tangled, his clothes were filthy and torn in places, he moved like an old man, but there was a smile of triumph on his dirty face. "I did it!"

"Did what?"

"I actually got that horse creature to do what I wanted him to! Look, I need a hot shower desperately - they made me clean him first - and then, oh, Jim, I had a morning!"

As he spoke, he shed his clothes, leaving them in a fragrant pile near the bathroom door. His body was scratched and Jim could see that he'd be getting some decent sized black and blue marks, too. On the one hand, he was upset that Blair had been hurt. On the other, it was the price one paid to learn to ride, and he was just slightly banged.

As Blair disappeared into the bathroom, Jim had time for one more thought...how very beautiful his partner was no matter how battered and bruised.

He picked up his own clothing and got dressed, then put Blair's laundry in the same bag as his own. He'd ask Scott about using a washer later on. Blair came out toweling his hair.

"Man, that felt good. I have *never* spent a morning like this." He walked over to the dresser and began to rummage for clean clothes, incidentally presenting Jim with a view of his nicely fuzzy hindquarters. Jim sat down on the bed and crossed his legs quickly.

Minutes later, Blair had found clothes and jumped into them. Jim had never seen Blair so unselfconscious, which was even stranger considering how he'd spent the previous night.

"You okay, Chief?"

"Oh, yeah. You think they have lunch ready? I could eat a horse. A specific horse."

"Better not let them hear you say that."

Lunch was a cold buffet. As they fixed themselves plates, they were greeted by their host.

"You two are the talk of the ranch. Especially you, Ellison. I've never seen anyone ride Dancer like that. She's usually off and running before the rider gets himself fairly settled."

"That's because your guys have no idea how to treat a lady. I've ridden some good horses back when I was a kid, but Dancer is one of the best. What's she doing on a ranch like this?"

They took their plates to a table. Scott took a cup of coffee and sat down with them. "I bought her from a friend of mine who lost his business. They had to sell everything - the house, the car, take their kids out of private school. It broke their son's heart to sell her, but they couldn't afford the upkeep any more."

Jim nodded. "She doesn't belong here. She can't get the right training."

"I know. I'm looking for a buyer now."

Jim looked wistful for a moment. Then he grinned. "Now, Blair here learned something today."

"Yeah. Horses laugh. Every time I fell, that damn horse *laughed* at me." Blair glared at Scott as if it were his fault.

"Falling's part of learning. I saw you riding around by yourself." Jim kept his own laughter in.

"Yeah, I guess. We doing more riding this afternoon?"

Jim shook his head. "What do you suggest we do, Scotty?"

"Got some nice hiking round here. Make yourself some sandwiches to go and grab a couple of water bottles. And don't forget to wear your hats."

"Sounds great." Blair smiled and dug into his lunch.

They took their time over lunch and making the sandwiches, so it was an hour or so before they actually left for their walk, but they were finally outfitted with food, water, a map, a compass and a hat for Blair. They'd had to borrow that, which meant finding one that fit. Jim privately thought that Blair looked adorable in the just slightly oversized ten-gallon, with his hair loose underneath it.

They set out walking east, with the sun behind them. The sky was a brilliant cloudless blue, the late summer plants bright and fragrant and there were cool dry breezes blowing off the mountains. The two men walked side by side in silence, just absorbing the scenery. Jim relaxed enough to concentrate on vision as he walked, knowing Blair was by his side.

They settled on a slow steady pace that let them just stroll for a couple of hours, stopping only to sip from their bottles. Every once in a while, Blair would come upon something - a flower, a stone, a bird in flight, and show it to Jim, his eyes wide with curiosity and joy.

To Jim, Blair himself was the real wonder. Jim's senses permitted him to perceive the world in incredible detail, but it took Blair to show him how it really was. He saw the universe on so many levels at once that Jim grew dizzy. A discourse on a single plant could range from the spiritual to the practical to the scientific and back again without a seam. It was all one to him, and it was at times like this that Jim could vaguely sense the wonderful world that Blair saw with his mind and his soul, and know that he, with all his senses, would never see quite as clearly.

They paused to eat their sandwiches under a rock outcropping, near a small cave at midafternoon.

"Oh, man. I am *so* glad you brought me here. This has been incredible." Blair swallowed a bite of sandwich and grinned.

"Even after this morning?" Jim peered at him.

Blair nodded. "Even that. Oh, God, I thought I'd *never* get it. I kept getting on and falling off, or Kris wouldn't move when I told him or shouted at him or tugged on the reins or anything. And then I'd tumble again. I'll tell you, I was *almost* ready to give up."

"You? Mr. Stubborn? Chief, I've never known you to give up on anything."

"Well, I was *that* close. But...you know what changed it?"

"Want to tell me, Sandburg?"

"You. I started watching you and that brown horse. It was like she was reading your mind. You never said a word, you never twitched a muscle but she was turning and doing grand jete's or whatever they're called."

"I was twitching muscles...and they're called courvettes. Just watching me?"

"Well, whatever. You just looked like a centaur. The main thing was your face. You looked so happy and so relaxed. Even your posture was correct but not stiff. I mean, I've never seen you like that before. And then I got it."

"Got what?" Jim barely listened. He was too busy watching Blair's face and hands as he tried to describe the indescribable.

"I was trying too hard. Old Kris has been doing this for years - he knows how to be ridden. All I had to do was relax and just sort of let him know what I wanted - just move *with* him. So, I got on again, and took some deep breathes to relax. And then I just nudged him a little and he moved. I got him around that ring without falling off and it was...I did it! You know?"

"Yeah. I know. I remember. You were watching me?"

"Yeah. I couldn't take my eyes off of you. I know you're athletic and maybe you don't want to hear it, but you're graceful, too. Watching you move...is an experience. But watching you ride today...man, this is going to sound weird, but you were beautiful." He stopped and looked Jim in the eyes. "You *are* beautiful. I just never noticed before. Oh, man, I was an idiot."

Now he had Jim's total attention.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that...that...that I spent last night in a chair and I'm not going to do that again. That I'm not going to run away from this. That...I don't know how far I want to go or where it's all going but I've never felt like this before and..."

Jim watched his own hand reach out to touch the soft curls beneath the huge hat brim. Blair's eyes grew wide but he didn't move. Jim drew courage from this. He moved closer, removing his own head gear. Blair stared at him and then licked his lips. It must have been unconscious, but Jim could smell something...not quite arousal but something close to it. He asked a question with his eyes. Blair nodded briefly, his breathing rapid. Then, to Jim's surprise, *Blair* closed the rest of the distance between them.

The touch of his lips was at once electric and familiar. Jim's entire consciousness was focused on the single point of contact. Only the fact that it was *Blair* kept him from zoning. Then they parted and looked at each other.

There were tears in Blair's eyes.

"Chief?"

"That was...oh, God." He jumped to his feet and ran into the cave.

"Sandburg! Blair!" Jim took off after him. "Sandburg, where are you?" The cave was dark. *He* could see fine, but Blair must have been lost. "Blair?"

"Ow!" Off to the right, where the cave was at its darkest. Sandburg, you idiot!

There he was, holding his toe, next to a crate of some kind. It smelled...familiar.

"Blair?"

"Jim...I'm sorry. I...I needed to think about this. It's just too much."

Jim stood there helplessly, dying to put his arms around him but certain that would drive Blair further away. "Take the time you need. I'll wait."

"You will?"

"For as long as it takes. How's your foot?"

"I stubbed it on something. Can you see what it is?"

Blair smiled at him.

"It's box of some kind. It smells...cocaine. It's full of coke."

Jim knelt down and began to pull off the top. It took some effort but he managed it. Inside were plastic bags. He ran his fingers over it, hoping to catch some that might have worked its way out. Yes...there was some grit. He sniffed it carefully and touched his tongue to it. He spat.

"It's pure coke. It hasn't been stepped on at all. What the hell is it doing here on Scotty's territory?"

"Jim...you don't think...?"

"Scotty? Never. You saw him...he doesn't even drink beer. I'd stake my life that he has no idea this is here."

Jim used a rock to nail the cover back into place.

"What are you doing?"

"Putting it back together."

"Then what?"

"Then we find out who put this here, how and why. Then we nail *them* shut, too. Damn, I'm out of state."

"So we call the local cops?"

Jim sat on the crate. "No. Not yet. If we call them now, this disappears and we don't find out anything. I want to catch the guys who are doing this. There's probably a metric tonne of the stuff in here - if we catch them, we'll do some damage."

Blair nodded. "So what do we do now?"

"We walk back to the main house and get ready for dinner."

"Okay."

"First...we have to get you out of this cave. Can you walk?"

"Yeah."

"Do you mind taking my hand?"

Blair shook his head hesitantly, and reached it out. Jim took it and led him back into the light. They gathered their hats and their packs and turned back. Somewhere along the way, Blair's hand found Jim's again. Jim held it as gently as he could all the way back home.

They probably got a few stares as they reached the main house, but Jim didn't care. They already had the reputation and it felt good to hold Blair's hand in his. The fact was, once he paid some attention, that they got smiles instead of smirks - and one or two called out to him that his riding earlier had been good.

If only things would be this easy when they got back to Cascade. Blair gave his hand a squeeze as if he realized that Jim was bothered about something. Sometimes Jim wondered if the two of them could be much closer even if they did become lovers. He squeezed back and gave Blair a smile.

They took turns taking their third shower of the day, and changed once again for dinner. He had to find out about laundry. At this rate, he was going to run out of clothes before the wedding - and he knew Blair had even fewer clothes.

Or, rather, fewer changes...Blair always wore *more* clothes.

By the time he had his clothes on, Blair was sprawled out on the bed reading. He looked up as Jim entered the bedroom proper.

"Do you have any ideas yet? I mean about those drugs?"

Jim nodded. "We ride out there tomorrow morning. You can use the trail time, and I think you're ready. And, well, I do think Dancer could use with an extended ride herself."

Blair grinned. "You just want to see what she can do outside a ring."

"Well...I also think that maybe we can see if anyone else stops by. Damn, I wish I had some jurisdiction here."

"We really should tell the cops here, and Scotty, too. We don't want him in trouble."

Jim didn't want to answer him.

"Do we?" Blair was reasonably confused.

"Look, I know I said it couldn't be Scotty, but...everyone's a suspect but you. And the horses. Something is going on here, and it's worrying me. I just want to get it cleared up before we hand it over, okay?" He knew he sounded defensive, but he couldn't help it.

Blair got up and put his arms around him. "I know. It's all right."

Jim bent to kiss Blair on the head. "I hope so, Chief. You're comfortable with this?"

He looked up with those beautiful eyes. "Yeah. This feels so...right." He put his head on Jim's chest for a moment. Jim took the opportunity to stroke Blair's hair. There was something about that hair...he'd wanted to touch it ever since the kid barged his way into his life. If only he could keep his mind off that stash in the cave.

"As nice as this feels, Jim, if we don't get a move on, we'll miss dinner. I, for one, am starving." Blair pulled away and ran a hand through his curls to get them in some sort of order. Jim nodded, and lacing his fingers through Blair's, walked with him to the great hall again.

The room was filling up with ranchhands, most of whom either ignored the pair or called out compliments on Jim's riding. They made their way to the head table, which had been enlarged to accommodate a few more people.

"Jim, Blair! I got some folks I'd like you to meet." Scotty stood up with a huge smile. "These are my parents, Bob and Jean Howard, and Marian's folks, Sam and Elizabeth Anderson." They nodded at the two older couples, and shook hands with the nearer ones, who looked like their daughter. "And this fellow here is Mike Smith." A tall blond man sitting next to Bob the foreman nodded his head. "He used to work for me until he got a better offer."

"Nice to meet you two. Bob tells me you're cops?" Mike watched them as they took their seats.

"I'm a detective over in Washington - city called Cascade - but my partner here is an academic."

"Blair Sandburg. I'm a grad student at Rainier." Blair, who was fairly close, stuck out his hand. Mike hesitated a second before he took it. Jim noticed but didn't say anything.

At this point, the servers came out with the huge bowls of salad again. As Blair occupied himself with filling both their plates, Jim watched the other people around him. So far as he was concerned, he was now in a room full of suspects. The world "cop" caught his ear. He focused on its origin - Smith.

" - hanging around with that hippie kid?"

"Those two? They're a couple of fags - the big guy was in the army with Scott."

Jim carefully controlled his wince.

"Really? Scott doesn't mind?"

"Old friend, you know? And he's a hell of a rider. 'dressage', don't you know? Rich boy."

Jim tuned them out and concentrated on finishing his salad.

***********************

The night before, Jim had headed for their room filled with anticipation. Finally, he and Blair would be together, something he'd never thought would happen. This night, Jim could hardly breathe as they made their way up the two flights of stairs. Blair's heart was also beating quickly, but Jim couldn't tell if that was nervousness or simple exhaustion from a strenuous day.

Blair went immediately to "his" chair under the window. The sky behind him was still glowing, although the sun had long since set. He pulled off his boots and wrapped his hands around his knees, looking at Jim. There was enough light from the bedside lamp that Jim could see him bite his lips.

"You okay, Chief?" Great question, Ellison.

"I could ask you the same question. Look...your hands are shaking."

Jim glanced down. They were. "I guess I'm nervous. And confused. Last night, you were astounded at the very idea. This afternoon, you kissed me. Then you ran. Help me out here, Chief."

"I'm sort of confused myself. I mean, I know we're all a little bi, and I've had crushes on guys before and all that, but...well...what you said last night just floored me."

Blair ran his fingers through his hair. "I mean, I've had guys come on to me before, and like I said, I knew you liked men and all, but you never showed me *any* signs before that you like *me*, I mean in *that* way. So...I sort of panicked."

"I'd never hurt you or do anything..."

"I know. There is nothing and no one I trust more than you, Jim." Blair stared straight into Jim's eyes. There was only truth in his face.

"Then why...why did you spend the night in that chair?"

Jim clenched his fists and tried to keep the pain out of his voice.

Blair got out of the chair and knelt in front of him. He took Jim's hands in his own. "It wasn't you, James. Not you, never you. I couldn't sleep. There was too much going through my brain. All I could think about was you and being with you and touching you and...I knew if I moved too much, I'd wake you. So I got out of bed and moved to the chair. And I guess I fell asleep there. And dreamed about you."

Jim couldn't say anything. He just let Blair hold his hands and looked into his eyes.

"Last night, I said I didn't love you *that* way - you know, being *totally* in love, the way I thought I'd been with Maya. And maybe I didn't. But maybe I was wrong. I don't know. I'm beginning to think I've never loved anyone in *that* way, so I didn't know what it felt like."

Jim barely heard those words at first. His senses were full of how Blair's hands felt in his. He'd never really noticed them before. They were large - as large as his own, surprising in a man Blair's size, and strong. He knew about the strength because he'd felt it before. He hadn't realized that they were also soft, or that they were cool or that they had calluses in strange places. He could feel Blair's pulse, too, as it echoed his heartbeat.

Then the words sank in. "Chief? 'Before'? What do you mean?"

"Before...now, or maybe before I met you. I don't know. I've always...well, I never really thought of myself as settling down with anyone - not Naomi's son, you know? But if I did at all, it was maybe with a girl. Or...I mean, I don't ignore guys and never have, but I never have, you know?"

"I'm just barely following you." Jim continued to stroke Blair's hands. He didn't ever want to let them go.

"I'm not following me, man. But, I've felt something for maybe years. I just didn't want to call it 'love' because...because I was supposed to feel that way with a girl. And I know I'm supposed to be way past that, but I'm not. I just know...the worst thing that could ever happen to me would be to lose you, and the best would be to be with you forever."

Blair pulled his hands away from Jim's and sat back on his heels. Jim stared for a moment at the place they'd been. Then he looked up. The last of the sunlight was gone now. The sky was dark - any stars were drowned out by the light in the room. Blair's eyes reflected the lamplight. He could read nothing in them. "Forever? I could probably do forever."

"Probably?"

Jim nodded. "Yeah. At least, I can't...don't want to think of a reason why not." He rubbed his hands together. They were too hot. He missed Blair's hands. "Now what?"

Blair shook his head. "I don't know. I thought I - there was that kiss today."

"Yeah. What was with that? You kissed me and you ran. Why?"

"I don't know. I just...ran."

Jim shook his head. "You don't run. In the entire time I've known you, you have never run. You get scared, you even panic, but you stay where you are or you go forward, and you do what you have to do. Even if it means you might die, like on that rig. I just about ordered you to run but you had to stay and take care of that bomb."

Blair's eyes were wide. "I didn't have a choice, man. There was no way I could leave."

"I know. But that's what I mean. You don't run away. You face things head on and thinking. But you ran."

Blair was silent for a long moment. "It was...when we kissed, even though it was only a touch, I felt it. I mean, I felt it in my cells. Nothing, no one, no kiss had ever felt like that, and nothing had been so perfect and I had to get away and *feel* it, and know what it meant."

"And now, Chief? Blair?"

Blair smiled a little and stood. He walked over to Jim, brought him to his feet, and wrapped his arms around him. Jim brought his own up and held him close, burying one hand in his curls as Blair pressed his face into Jim's shoulder. That was enough.

Then Blair stepped back and tilted his head. Jim swallowed slightly - would it be possible to repeat perfection? Would Blair run? - and met his lips. This time it was no mere brush, although it did begin gently, softly. Blair gradually deepened it, with Jim following his lead, until their tongues were dancing with each other. Blair's mouth was, not cool, but cooler than Jim's own, and he tasted of after dinner coffee and carrot cake.

They had to break apart when they tired but Jim would never forget this moment if he really did have forever. He felt Blair relax in his arms, and bent to give him a kiss on the forehead.

This, too, would be enough.

"You're not running, Chief."

"Yeah, I am. I'm just not running *away*. Oh, God, Jim, this feels *so* good." He buried his face in Jim's shoulder again. Jim kissed him again, on the top of his head. His hair smelled of outdoors and horses and felt like silk. "Don't want to let go." His voice was muffled but Jim heard every word.

"Then, don't. Stay here and hold me forever." He didn't need anything more. Blair loved him. The universe was perfect.

"I can't." Blair slowly stepped back. "There's so much...Jim, I'm scared." Jim began to protest, but Blair put a finger on his mouth. "Not of you. Of...loving you. Loving you the way you deserve. You need."

"I don't *need* anything more than this."

"Jim, you don't need to be a Sentinel to see that you want more." Jim followed Blair's downward glance. He'd been so wrapped up in Blair he hadn't even realized how aroused he was. "And I don't know...I've never been with a man. I've thought about it, but I've never done it."

"It's all right. Just let me hold you and I'm happy, even if you don't want more." He stroked Blair's arm to reassure him.

"I do. Want more. Just not now. Today. Tonight. Okay?" Blair stared at him, his eyes huge.

As if he could ever contradict him. "Someday, though?"

"Someday, soon." Oh, that smile. Jim knew he'd do anything for that smile. "But I could go for some major cuddling now."

"Whatever you want, Blair." Why hadn't he noticed before how good it felt to say his name?

"Whatever I want?" Blair grinned. "Cuddle me...James." Jim suppressed a shiver at the sound of his own name and allowed Blair to lead him to the bed.

They lay down side by side, taking only enough time to remove their boots. Blair fitted himself into Jim's arms and wrapped a leg around him. Jim responded by opening just one button on Blair's shirt and nibbling on his neck. Blair's delighted moans spurred him on to kiss his way up his jawline.

Blair grabbed his head and they were kissing again as they moved their clothed bodies together. For a long time, but not a long enough one, Jim's universe consisted of Blair's mouth, Blair's body and Blair's curls, and this, too, was enough.

Eventually, they had to let go of each other, but they remained close together the rest of the evening as they read and talked. Jim was in such a state of bliss that he could barely concentrate on the poetry he'd brought with him - especially when Blair chose to use him as a headrest while he poured over a tome he'd brought with him as "light reading."

That night, Jim still wore his pajama bottoms and Blair still wore those old sweats, but they slept curled in each other's arms after exchanging a final good-night kiss. Jim, his head pillowed on Blair's chest, allowed his heartbeat to lull him to sleep.

***********************

There was something warm pressing on Jim's chest. It was Blair's arm draped over him. He twisted. Blair was lying on his stomach with his face smooshed into the pillow, covered by all the blankets. His hair was a rat's nest. Jim himself was covered in nothing but Blair's arm and his pajamas.

All he could think was that Blair was incredibly beautiful and he himself was warm and comfortable. He leaned over and kissed Blair gently, hoping not to wake him. Even in the morning, Blair smelled wonderful and tasted better.

However, Jim hoped in vain. Blair stirred at the touch of his lips, opened his eyes and moaned. "Who turned on the sun..."

"Kinda does it by itself, Chief. Long as you're up, let's get some breakfast."

"Don' wan' breakfast. Wan...wan...want *you*!" The next thing Jim knew, he'd been dragged down beside Blair and cuddled within an inch of his life. Jim had no choice. He had to give in and laugh. Blair caught the giggles from him, so Jim decided the only thing to do was tickle him back.

"Hey, no fair! I can't tickle you, Mr. Touchy-Feely! James, stop!" Jim obeyed and began to stroke Blair instead. He watched as his friend turned over on his back with a sigh.

Blair was even more beautiful like that. His eyes were closed, his hair was spread out over his pillow and happiness glowed from his face. *He's an angel. He's my angel.*

"What are you thinking, James?" Blair opened his eyes as Jim slowed his strokes.

"You. You make me happy. If only I wasn't so hungry..."

Blair started laughing again. "Okay, okay. Let's get dressed." He pulled Jim down for another deep kiss and then let him go. He reached out a hand for Jim to drag him out of bed. They pulled on riding clothes and went down to breakfast.

This time, there were western omelets, which Blair declared Jimsafe and they wolfed down. They waved to Scott as they walked to the horse barn.

"Hey, pretty lady. Did you miss me?" Jim greeted Dancer as one of the grooms led her out. He gave her a piece of apple before saddling her. This time he heard no one tease him about his choice of tack. Blair fed Ol' Kris, who was already saddled and waiting, a carrot.

"Mr. Ellison, you want to use the ring again?"

"Just for a half hour or so, to get the horses warmed up. I thought, if Mr. Sandburg seems ready, we might do some trail riding today."

"Nice day for it. I'll see to Mr. Sandburg, and tell you if he's ready."

Jim nodded and turned to help Blair get on the gelding. To his surprise, Blair was already mounted and starting to move. He winced occasionally as his somewhat bruised rear end contacted the saddle, but Blair was actually riding - not well, but better than the day before.

He got on Dancer himself and settled down. She pranced for a second just for style but calmed at the touch of his knees. He patted her neck and signaled her to walk after Blair and Ol' Kris. Her long legs and restless pace soon brought them side by side. Blair noticed and shot him a brilliant smile as they rode into the ring together.

By the time he and Dancer had made one circuit, Jim was once again at that place where horse and rider became one. He only had to think something and it seemed Dancer would do it. The glances he could spare towards Blair told a different story.

Blair was doing better, but he did fall off at least once and while he was more relaxed, he was having a difficult time getting into Kris' rhythm. After watching him and his trainer for a few minutes, he moved towards them.

"Maybe I can help?"

"Jim! What am I doing wrong here?" Blair sounded desperate, but he was also laughing.

"Come on, Chief. You'd never let me get away with that. What do *you* think you're doing wrong?"

He rolled those eyes. "If I knew...I don't know. Something's not clicking. He's doing what I ask, but it feels wrong."

"Like how?"

Blair thought. "We're moving at cross-purposes."

"Okay."

"Like...like you're dancing with a partner but one of you is off the beat. You're still dancing, but it's off."

"Good metaphor, Sandburg. What do you do if you're the one off beat?"

His eyes widened. "I...relax and let the music tell me what to do. I'm still not relaxed enough, am I?"

"Just let Kris show you what he needs. You're still in charge, don't worry about that. Just let him go."

"You mean 'give him his head'?"

The trainer guffawed. "Not Ol' Kris. It's sort of a line you gotta ride. Something between shoving him around and letting him do what he wants. And he's a stubborn cuss, Kris is. Gotta handle him just right."

Jim and Blair exchanged an amused glance. "I think you can manage *that* trick, Chief."

Blair grinned. "Oh, I've had some practice along those lines." He bent to talk to Kris in a low, measured cadence as he pressed his legs to the horse's sides. "Okay, Mr. Horse. We're just going to ride around this ring together, you and I. I'll dance with you if you'll dance with me. Yes. Beautiful."

Jim and the trainer watched with differing degrees of amazement as both horse and rider adjusted themselves to one another as they walked around the ring. Blair never stopped talking, of course.

"I know he never rode before. I don't think he'd ever been on a horse before. That guy has to be wunna the fastest learners I ever saw."

Jim beamed with quiet pride. "He's one of the brightest men you'll ever meet, and he knows how to move."

The trainer gave Jim a long look, and nodded as if to himself. "Get that lady of yours warmed up, and I'll make sure you both have some supplies for the trail."

"I can get those myself."

"It's not a problem. There are a couple of other guests doing the same thing. Like I said, nice day for a trail ride."

Jim looked at him closely, but could only detect truth in his voice. "Thank you."

"Just treat Dancer right."

Jim smiled and nodded. With a final wave, he took his horse off to do some more exercises, keeping an eye and ear on Blair all the while.

*****************

A half hour later, they were riding, more or less side by side, down the same trail they'd followed the day before. Their saddlebags held enough food and water to keep them through lunch if necessary.

They didn't talk. Blair was too busy keeping his seat and getting Kris to listen to him, and Jim had to keep Dancer from leaping around in her joy to be out of the ring.

It didn't take them long to reach the same cave as the day before. Jim took a look inside while Blair stood holding the reins of both horses. He emerged almost immediately. "Jim, what's wrong?"

"There's another crate of drugs, and it's just as pure."

"Can you see any tracks?"

Jim began to scan the area. There had to be tracks - those crates were too heavy to be taken on foot or by horseback. But the ground was undisturbed except for hoofmarks and footprints. And none of the footprints looked deep enough to be made by anyone carrying something that heavy.

"It didn't get here by magic, Chief. There has to be something."

"Okay...think about the probable route the truck would have taken and *feel* the ground." Jim nodded. He eyed the terrain and dropped to his knees at a likely place. "Use your eyes, as well. Look for odd shadows or disturbed rocks." Jim didn't bother acknowledging these words. He just followed Blair's advice to the letter. And there was something.

"Chief! Put a rock of some kind over the reins and come over here." Jim heard Blair do as he asked and walk over.

"What is it, Jim?"

"Look here...this rock was moved, and there are very faint tracks, with hoofprints over them. Can you see?"

Blair peered down. "I can see the rock but not the rest. What do you think it means?"

"If we had someone on a truck and someone on horseback, the guy on horseback could sweep away the tracks."

"They couldn't have done it all the way back. Want to see where they lead?"

Jim nodded. He collected Dancer, but led her on foot to follow the tracks. Blair walked behind him with Kris. About four hundred yards more or less northwards, clear tire tracks appeared along with the hoofprints. At this point, Jim helped Blair to mount his horse and then took his place on his own mare.

They rode on for a long time, in what Jim decided was a great circle.

Dancer twitched under him as they rode. He reached down to pat her side. "It's all right, pretty lady. Just be patient." He turned to look at Blair. "How are you doing, Chief?"

"I'm...I'm hanging in there. Just had...had to let Kris know who's...who's boss. That would be him."

Jim chuckled. "Somehow, Sandburg, I can't see you letting anyone boss you around."

"Just where are we going, Jim? I'm getting lost here."

Jim decided to take that literally. "Near as I can figure, they're heading back to the main house."

"Oh, God. Poor Scotty. Are you going to tell him?" Blair reined in his horse, forcing Jim to halt Dancer.

He rode back so he could talk to Blair better. To his surprise, Kris was a little taller than Dancer. The difference was enough to bring Blair up to eye level. Those eyes were the color of a stormy sky. He had to stop himself from drowning in them. "Not yet. I hate to say this, but he might already know."

Blair nodded. "I hope not, but you're right. He took a deep breath. "Now what?"

"Right now? If we could get away with it, I'd stake that cave out."

"We could, you know. We could, like, camp out there. I mean, it's nice enough that we could manage with just sleeping bags. Or, maybe, *sleeping bag.*" Blair tilted his head.

Jim nodded. "I'll talk to Scotty about it tonight. We could even take the horses with us. Bet you'll love that, Chief."

"Oh, yeah. A night to take care of Kris. I'll live." Dancer twitched again. "Easy, lady. It'll be fine."

"What's wrong with your horse?"

"She wants to move. We've been going too slowly for her."

Blair blinked. "Oh."

It wasn't just Dancer. Blair was looking more beautiful than ever, with the bright mountain sunshine making his curls glow and his eyes dancing with curiosity. It was all Jim could do not to surrender to him right then and there.

That was too dangerous a thought. He'd just scare Blair away this soon. Besides, Dancer really did want to run. He looked around. They really had gone in a circle - he could see that same cave. There was a stream there.

"Chief, look in this direction." He pointed to the cave. "What do you see?"

Blair slipped his glasses on. "A bunch of rocks. Oh, that cave."

"Why don't you ride Ol'Kris here back there? There's water and browsing for him and you could rest out of the sun. I'm going to take my lady for a real run and meet you back there. Just don't eat up all the food, all right?"

Blair grinned at that, and nodded. "Sounds like a plan to me. I'll miss you, though." To Jim's surprise and delight, he maneuvered Kris close enough to pull Jim in for a kiss. "Don't be too long." He let go and turned Kris towards the rocks. Jim watched him ride away. This was the first time Blair would be apart from him in days. *That's my life on that horse.*

He'd known that for years. Now he could tell him that. Maybe even tonight.

Abruptly, he dug his knees into Dancer's sides and they were off and running.

It was glorious. He was so attuned to her that he felt as though it was his legs pounding the Colorado prairie. He'd been inside and outside many a vehicle in his time on the force. Never did he feel the same combination of speed, control and freedom as Dancer gave him now. She was flying, dancing over the ground just as she should.

And he was flying with her, as free as he ever could be. Just for this moment, he had no badge, no gun, no senses beyond normal, there were no drugs on his friend's lands and he was not about to take an irrevocable step in the most important relationship in his life.

It was Jim, the wind, the land and the lady.

The sun was past the zenith when he came to himself again. He eased Dancer down slowly and got his bearings.

"You are smart as well as pretty, Lady." She had brought them back where they started, well in sight of the cave.

Blair wasn't alone. There was another horse tethered next to Kris. Jim filtered out the sound of the wind and of Dancer's hooves to see if he could hear anything.

Ah, there was Blair's voice. That was normally the first thing he picked up anyway. He was as attuned to those rich tones as he was his own name. "....along soon. We can wait here."

"You two don't think I'm intruding?" A woman's voice...Marian. No echoes, so they were outside the cave. Jim let go a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Nah. I mean, I was just waiting for Jim to finish his run. I'm so glad for the company."

"I just needed to get away from all the wedding plans. And Scotty's about jumping out of his skin."

Jim urged Dancer to a canter. The hoofsteps would have required extra filtering now, so Jim didn't bother. He just went with the rhythm and lost himself for a few more minutes in the dance of horse and rider.

He lost himself again to the point that he didn't hear the truck pull up until it was too late and Marian was screaming.

He barely stopped Dancer in time, and then had to fight with himself. He was just too far to make out who the men were, but he could see that they had Blair and Marian tied and gagged. Blair was clearly struggling in his bonds, but Marian was just sitting there as if in shock.

All he wanted to do was rush out, unarmed as he was, and rescue them. Luckily, all of the instincts forged in special ops and as a cop stepped in on time, and they trumped the others.

He petted Dancer's neck in an effort to calm himself. If they took Marian like that, then it was unlikely they were working with Scotty.

He took a couple of deep breaths and listened, but they weren't saying anything. They were just taking yet another crate out of the truck and loading it in the cave. Then they carried Blair and Marian into the truck. Jim breathed a sigh of relief...they could easily have killed them both. One of the men got into the truck itself as the second one held his horse and waited for the first to drive away.

He then began removing the tire tracks but stopped almost immediately, perhaps figuring that there was no point anymore. He looked at the other two horses and made a fast decision - he set them loose and chased them both away. Marian's horse had some spirit - the large black gelding jumped up and ran away. In contrast, Ol'Kris just sort of sauntered.

And Jim berated himself for not getting the license of the truck.

The second man jumped on his own horse and rode away. Jim wanted to follow him but realized he had to get the horses and get backup, or at least weaponry.

As soon as the man was far enough away, he rode after the two geldings. Kris was easy. Jim just snagged his bridle in passing. The black was a little harder, but Dancer was faster than he was, and Jim had a pocket full of treats.

The bastard had sent them in the wrong direction, which meant Jim had had to chase them. Of course, Jim had to lead two other horses *and* Dancer was tired. It took far too long to get to the ranch itself. When he did show up, Scott was working at the horse barns. He saw the two empty saddles immediately. His face went white.

"Jimmy! What happened?"

"Scotty, we have to talk. In private. Now." He swung himself off Dancer and handed her over to one of the grooms. "Sorry, pretty lady. I wish I could take care of you." He looked at the young man taking her in hand. "She had a major workout today, guy." The boy nodded. Two others collected the geldings and led them off.

Scotty frowned. He took Jim to a small office in a trailer near the stables. Jim turned on a small radio he saw there and turned to Scotty.

"Someone's been smuggling drugs onto your ranch, Scott. Blair and I found a case of it yesterday, and a second this morning."

"Why wasn't I informed?"

"Scotty, you have to understand. I'm a cop. *Everyone's* a suspect. For us, it's got to be guilty until proven innocent."

"You actually thought *I* might be smuggling drugs?" Jim had never seen such raw anger in Scott's eyes.

"No. You and Marian...you were the last on my list. But, until I could be certain, I couldn't say anything. Scott, I don't have time for this. Look, I saw the men who were smuggling the drugs. I know where at least one of their caches is. And none of that's important." Jim sat down in a chair by Scott's cluttered desk and put his hands over his eyes as all the emotions he'd been keeping in check exploded through him. "Scott, they have them."

"Who has who? What are you talking about? Why were you leading Marian and your friend's horses? Oh, my God! What the Hell happened?"

"I couldn't do anything. I'm not carrying a weapon. I could only sit there and *watch* as they took both of them away. Marian and Blair. I don't think they were hurt, but they were tied up."

"Away?" Scott backed into his desk chair.

"In a truck. One of your pickups, I think."

"Why didn't you follow them?"

"I wanted to. You can't know how much." Jim buried his head in his hands again. "I was on horseback, and no matter how fast Dancer is, she can't be that fast. And I had to get the other horses. It killed me not to follow them."

"Wasn't *your* fiancée in that truck."

Jim looked straight at his old buddy. "Only because he's a man and the law won't let me marry him. He was tied up and struggling, and I had to watch him be carted away. Look, we have to get them and get them now."

"Where do you think they are?" Scott was trying to be calm.

The phone rang, causing both men to jump. Jim nodded, and Scott picked it up.

"Hamilton."

Jim focused his hearing. The voice on the other side sounded muffled. "Mr. Hamilton? We got your lady and the little fag." He could feel his jaw muscles tighten at that word.

"Who is this? What do you want?"

"You give us what we want, Mr. Hamilton, and no one'll get hurt. Not even the homo."

"What do you want?"

"We want...we want one hundred grand *and* we want to do our business without no interference from that fruit cop you got visiting you."

"Who is this?"

"That don't matter none. You just get us the money and let us make our other deal and you'll get your pretty bride back as pretty as she ever was. And the pretty boy, too."

"I want to talk to Marian."

"No can do, Mr. Hamilton. She's not in any state to talk right now."

Blair. How was Blair? He caught Scotty's eye and mimed long curly hair.

Scott nodded at him. "What about Mr. Sandburg? Can he come to the phone?"

For a few minutes, only noises too faint even for Jim to identify came from the receiver. Then the muffled voice came on again. "Mr. Sandburg ain't as pretty as he was, cause he wouldn't stay put. So he's resting right now. Get us the money by tomorrow morning and we'll let you have them back. But no cops, and Sandburg's *boyfriend* stays out of our way."

"Where and when?"

"That cave - Ellison knows where. At 9 AM. And you come without him." *click*

Scott slammed the receiver down. "They have my Marian and your...Blair. And they want money."

"Did you recognize the voice?" Damn, he needed Blair. He'd know how to do this so he didn't give his senses away.

"It sounded...I don't really know. He was disguising it, I think. But he's one of mine."

"How do you know?"

Scott turned his head. "He kept calling Blair and you 'fruit' and 'fag.' Someone using my ranch as a drop point would probably know my name, and everyone locally knows who I'm marrying, but no one off the ranch knows who you are, and that you are gay. Heck, I didn't even suspect until your 'date' showed up needing a shave." He gave a sharp, bitter laugh. "Now, that was a shock."

"I told you his name when I called. *You* assumed he was a woman." Jim rubbed his head. "We have to figure this out, and now. I don't trust them."

"I gotta round up the money. He wants 100K and he wants it tomorrow."

"Can you get it that fast?"

"Yeah, but it'll be a heavy loss. I'll have to liquidate some holdings out of cycle."

"You do that. I'm going to scout around. There are things I need to know."

"Jim? She'll be all right? She's my life." Scott looked him straight in the eyes.

"They both will be. They've got my life, too." Scott nodded and picked up his phone. Jim left the office and wandered back to the horse barn, where he went to Dancer's stall to check on how she was treated. She was his responsibility while he was here. That same groom was giving her a rubdown as he walked in.

"I'll take over now. Thank you." The groom nodded and walked away. Jim finished the rubdown and picked up the curry combs. He grinned as she leaned into them. "You like this, don't you, pretty lady?"

As he brushed her, he focused his hearing on the other people in the barn. A group in a corner mending tack caught his attention.

"....such a waste, too. Both of them." Female voice.

"Ah, Jenny, you think all men should be after you. But, yeah. Look at him with Dancer. He's the only one who's ever ridden her." Male voice.

"Do you find it strange he came back with the other two horses?" Different male voice.

"I don't know." Jenny sounded confused. "I mean, he's not acting worried, so maybe they're just walking home together."

First male voice laughed. "We know one thing for certain...there's nothing going on between Marian and that guy."

"Hmm. Maybe there is, Mike. I mean, he could be the jealous type." Second male voice sounded speculative. "Maybe he caught them at it and killed them. I mean, a cop could, right?"

"Marian cheat on Scott? You can't be serious. And if you saw those two...not possible." Jenny sounded shocked. "They are *so* sweet together."

That rumor was going to be a killer, especially when Blair and Marian didn't show up. He'd be on the top of his own suspect list...which meant he didn't dare call the local authorities. He should have let the horses wander in by themselves.

Except that, while Kris certainly would have, he didn't know about Marian's black. He had been skittish when Jim had led him back home. And maybe it was because if he couldn't help Blair and Marian, he could at least help their horses.

He pressed too hard on the brushes. Dancer protested. "Sorry, lady. I shouldn't take it out on you."

That first group went on to discuss other horses and the wedding plans, so he listened for other conversations. It wasn't easy. Without Blair, he had to worry about focussing too hard and zoning. Luckily, Dancer kept him grounded - if he stopped brushing her or went in the wrong direction or anything, she made sure he knew.

Finally, as he was taking the dust out of Dancer's tail, he heard a voice that sounded almost familiar. "...the girl and the fairy. Get the cash tomorrow." It was too far to hear clearly over the various sounds of the horse barn. Jim couldn't be sure but it sounded like it was several hundred yards away or in another building.

"...off...trouble with...fag cop?" That was a different voice.

"...think...fault...off 'em."

"Kill!....before!" He could barely even make out that whisper no matter how hard he strained, and it was getting difficult to filter the other sounds out. They seemed to be moving away.

Jim went numb. He forced himself to finish Dancer and get her fed and watered, and even to check on the black and on Kris. The black shied away from his touch, and Kris just sort of tolerated it. He grudged every minute he spent.

First he tried to find where he'd heard that conversation. It could have been from anywhere, and there was no way of knowing. Blair would have figured out how to do it, but if Blair were here to help, he wouldn't be in danger of being killed right now, and that thought made Jim's blood turn to ice.

'All right, Ellison. Calm yourself. Deep breaths. One. Two. One. Two.' He could almost here Blair's voice saying these words. Would he hear it again? Calm...

He walked out of the barn in the direction he'd heard the voices. There was a young woman exercising a colt.

"Miss, can you help me?"

She blinked at him. "Uh...sh-sure. Whaa..."

Jim smiled, which seemed to further discombobulate her. "Did you see two men walking past here?"

"N-no...j-just Jerry and B-bob." She blushed furiously. Jim shook his head in frustration. He didn't want an underage ranch hand falling in love with him.

"Bob - he's Scotty's ranch foreman, right?"

She looked a little calmer. "Y-yeah. Jerry's his assistant. You're his friend, right, the one with the...the..."

"Boyfriend. Yes. Which way did Bob and Jerry go?"

She pointed. He followed it to a familiar pile of rocks, just at the horizon. It was the cave again. Why did they have to find *that* cave?

Well, be that as it may, he was not going to let them get away with this any longer. God alone knew what Blair was going through right that moment.

*****

Blair was damned angry. He could handle being kidnapped, and even tied up. Hell, he didn't mind a couple of bruises, either, but this being gagged was the worst.

He looked over at Marian. She was sitting perfectly still. Only her eyes blinked. She hadn't moved of her own will since they'd pulled her into the truck. When they'd circled back to the cave, they had to force her to walk to where they were now. They'd even discussed not tying her up, but Bob, the foreman, insisted that they not take chances.

So she sat across from him in the lantern light, unmoving but with her hands and feet tied. They didn't bother to gag *her*, though. If only he could talk to them, maybe he could do something.

They were going to die. The two men were talking about it already. Marian and Blair could identify them. If he could talk, maybe he could convince them that it would be better to avoid a murder charge. If he could talk, maybe he could get them to let Marian go free. If he could talk...maybe he could have some control over the situation.

He struggled some more with the ropes. These guys were good. Must have been all that practice with calves. His wrists were starting to chafe. And he had to go to the bathroom. This was *so* not the way he wanted to spend this day.

Maybe he should think of something else. Jim. He could think about Jim. Jim was probably frantic now. Please, please, please, don't let him zone. Don't let him freak, either. Blair took some deep breaths to calm himself. His mouth hurt from the gag.

And when - not if - Jim found them, then what? It's not like this trip hasn't been too confusing. He wasn't *bi* when they got on the plane. Okay, maybe he was but he didn't think he was. And then all he could think about was Jim and Jim's arms around him and Jim's lips on his lips. Nothing had felt so good.

He closed his eyes and remembered how it felt to have Jim curled in his arms the night before. Not only had it felt right, he'd slept knowing Jim was there and safe. If he had his way, they'd do that every night for the rest of their lives. Which was, in its own way, scarier than the guys who'd just beat him and tied him up.

And the kissing, that was fine, that was wonderful. Jim kissed better than anyone he'd ever kissed before. Just thinking about that made him harder than he could have imagined, until he thought about where it might lead.

*That* was a combination he'd never felt before: total lust and total fear at the same time. And the fear was over and above simple terror for his life. That last was familiar to him. This was...this was change your life around, totally rearrange your self-image, sleep with your male partner and no one else *ever* fear. Okay, this was mostly sleep with your male partner fear, since the rest was either totally familiar or felt just fine. But could he actually make love to Jim?

Where was he? Come on, Jim. I need you here. Marian needs you here. They're going to kill us when they get back, and I'll never have the chance to see if I can love you the way you need. And if I don't get to pee real fast, it's going to be real embarrassing.

Oh, damn. Here they were again.

He turned his eyes towards them.

"What's the matter, faggot? Miss your boyfriend so much you're making eyes at other guys?"

"Yeah, Bobby, that's it. That's why he's looking at us. He wants a real man for a change."

Bob looked thoughtful. "We could...give 'em what he wants. Hell, we can do that to both of 'em. Have some fun 'fore we take 'em out."

Blair stopped breathing. No, they wouldn't. Then again, Bob didn't look all that happy he'd made that suggestion.

Jerry bit his lip. "I ain't gonna have no part of that. You can do what you want, boss, but I ain't into guys no how, and I ain't into taking ladies what belong to others, even if I am gonna kill 'er."

"Got a point there. Marian's a nice lady and faggot here never hurt us. Bad enough we got to...don't want to hurt 'em more." Bob looked relieved at the idea.

Blair breathed again. Marian was still dead to the world. Blair was grateful she hadn't had to hear that. Now, he only had to persuade them to let him empty his bladder and hope that Jim was all right without him *and* was bringing the cavalry.

*********

"Jim! Jim! What's wrong with you, buddy?"

Jim blinked. He was standing by the barn, but there was a crowd around him and Scott was shouting at him. "What's going one?"

"Thank the Lord! Jimmy, you were just standing there. I've never seen anything like it before."

Oh, God. "It's...sometimes I concentrate on something too strongly. Sandburg usually gets me out of it and figures out why."

"Sounds like I shouldn't let you on horseback, Ellison."

"Horseback...Blair! I think I know where Blair is and I think I know who the perps are. "

"Who? How? Should I call the sheriff?" Scott looked like he was ready to run for a phone.

"I...I can't tell you, Scotty. I don't even know if my partner and your lady are even alive right now, but I can bet you anything that they won't be by morning. What sort of weapons do you have?"

"You sure you don't want the sheriff?"

"This is something I have to do myself."

Scott nodded although he didn't look quite convinced. "I got pretty much anything reasonable - rifles, shotguns, handguns. Not much call for automatics here."

Jim thought for a moment. "Rifle would be good, and a handgun. Didn't bring my own weapon out here."

"You got it, Jim."

"I'll be in the stable. I'm taking Dancer."

"You just brought her in."

"It has to be Dancer. I hope she's rested enough. You follow behind, but don't get in my way."

**********

Dancer was fine, even after that day's workout. She let Jim saddle her without protest. He led her outside, where Scott waited for him with the weapons and ammunition, and a rather grim look on his face.

"Jim, I give my people free use of my guns. The only thing I ask is that folks sign them out and put them back clean and ready for use. It usually works out fine. Two of my rifles are missing, but no one signed for them. There's also ammo missing. They're armed, Jim. Be careful."

"I'm going to get both Blair and Marian back, Scotty." Or die trying. He didn't say those words but he knew Scott heard them just the same, and nodded.

He slipped the hand gun into his jeans with difficulty and tied the rifle to the saddle. He swung himself up and kneed Dancer into action. She wanted to run again, as much as he wanted her to, but he held her back with sure leg commands. He didn't want to advertise their arrival too soon.

There were four heartbeats in the cave. He could hear two voices, neither of which were Blair's. He would have known Blair's no matter how far away. If he concentrated, he probably could tell which heartbeat was his, but that would be risky.

"What's that?"

"Hooves. Someone's out here on a horse."

"Oh, damn."

Jim echoed that in his own head. He quickly unslung the rifle and made sure it was loaded. Then he urged Dancer forward. "Sorry, pretty lady. I hope they have more respect for horses than they do for people."

Two men left the cave, rifles at the ready.

"Ellison, we got your boyfriend in there. You want to see him again, you'll let us go!"

They were idiots. Blair was inside, they were outside...or was he?

"Why should I do that?"

"Cause we got him and Ms. Anderson all tied up in the dark. We know where they are. Ain't no way you'll find them." Bob sounded smug.

"And if I don't go away, what will you do?"

"Reckon we'll just kill you. Maybe right now." Jim could hear him pull back the firing pin. He got Dancer out of the way just in time. This was the point of dressage - not to look pretty, but to meld horse and rider into one being so that one would have his hands free to fight and the other would move instantly.

As she moved, he lowered his own rifle and took careful aim. The moment Dancer was still and safe, he fired. And Bob collapsed in a heap on the ground. Jerry took one look, dropped his own weapon and put his hands up.

Jim patted Dancer and dismounted, tying her to the truck parked close by. He picked up both rifles, unloaded them and tossed them into the bed of the truck. He took out his handgun and aimed it towards Jerry as he knelt to check Bob. By great good fortune, Bob was very much alive, if in pain.

Scotty pulled up shortly thereafter with a truckful of muscle. They loaded up Jerry and Bob and kept watch on Dancer as Jim descended into the cave.

It got dark there, too dark even for his eyes to see, but Jim didn't need to see. He could hear. Long ago, when all he could see was a golden haze, Blair taught him to use his ears like a bat, and he already knew how to use his hands. And he had a target. He could hear two sets of heartbeats. Both were quiet and still, but one was as familiar as his own, and both were getting louder as he walked.

Finally, he knew he was in the same chamber. "Sandburg?"

There was a muffled squeak. They'd gagged him. Jim couldn't help chuckling to himself. Blair had probably been going crazy.

"I'm here. Just keep making noise and I'll find you."

There were more muffled squeaks and sounds. He followed them to a heap on the ground which groaned when his feet hit it.

He knelt and began feeling his way along the heap. It squirmed a bit as it took shape under his hands - it was definitely Blair, his hands and feet were tied and from the way he jerked at certain touches, he'd been hurt.

"Just lie still, Chief. I'll get you out." Jim rummaged in his own pocket for the Leatherman tool Blair had given him for his birthday a year or so ago. He carefully cut all of Blair's bindings.

The moment Blair's hands were free, he pulled off his gag and Jim found himself with barely enough time to close his knife before Blair pounced on him.

"Jim! I knew you were going to find us!" Jim had been kneeling on the ground. Blair pushed him further down and swarmed all over his lap, kissing and hugging him in between a running commentary of what Bob and Jerry had said and done. Jim just let it happen, while enjoying every moment of it. Blair was alive and well and in his arms and that was enough.

Until he heard the soft sob. "Chief, what was that?"

"What was what?"

"I heard someone."

"Marian! I forgot about Marian. Damn, sensory deprivation is so *not* good for my mental processes. Can you find her?"

The sobs increased. Jim followed them a short distance. She wasn't gagged, although her hands and feet were tied. She allowed Jim to cut her loose as well. He helped her to stand, and she collapsed in tears on his shoulder.

"It's okay, Marian. We're here. Everything's safe now." He patted her back. When her breathing calmed, she stepped back.

"Thank you. Where's Scotty?"

"She hasn't moved by herself or set a word until now." Blair's voice was pitched low enough that Jim knew only he could hear it. She'd been in shock.

"Right outside, Marian. I'll get us out." He spoke as gently as he could.

"It's so dark, and they took the lantern."

"Jim will get us out. He has a...great sense of direction." Blair had found his way towards them. Jim felt his arm brush his as he, too, did his best to reassure her.

"We'd better go. Scotty wants to see you."

"All right. What do I do?"

"Just hold on." He put her hand on one of his shoulders, and guided Blair's arm around his waist. Slowly, he used his hands and ears to find their way back to the surface.

As soon as it was light enough to see, the three of them ran towards the entrance of the cave. Jim was momentarily blinded by the late afternoon sun and stunned by all the shouts of surprise and relief. By the time he'd recovered, with Blair's help, Marian was safely in Scott's arms crying her eyes out.

Still holding Blair's hand, Jim walked up to Scotty. "Where are they?"

"Got 'em hog-tied in the truck. Sheriff'll be out here soon. Marian, did they *touch* you at all?"

"No, Scotty. Not at all."

"Sandburg?"

Blair, who had wrapped his arms tightly around Jim, shook his head. "They talked about it, about...both of us...but Jerry said he wouldn't, so Bob dropped the subject."

"Damn good thing he did." Scotty looked straight into Jim's eyes.

Jim met his gaze. "Oh, yeah." He felt Blair shiver at those words. It didn't matter. No one hurt *his* angel and got away with it. As it was, he owed them. Blair was sporting a black eye.

The sheriff arrived and took statements and evidence and only looked at Jim and Blair funny a couple of times. Then everyone piled into cars and trucks and drove away, leaving the two of them alone with Dancer, whom Jim had untied from Bob's ranch truck.

The sun was beginning to set, and a chill wind was starting to blow. Blair shivered again. Jim cursed himself for making Blair wait. He may not have been as badly off as Marian, but he was in shock. The only time he'd separated himself from Jim since the cave was when he had to relieve himself behind some rocks.

"Want to go back now, Chief?"

"How?"

"Dancer'll take you."

Blair looked at the tall, slender animal and what must have looked like a strange, flat saddle. "You sure, Jim?"

"Not a problem." He boosted Blair up and then swung himself in front. "Just wrap your hands around me. Dancer is a strong lady. She can carry double for a while, can't you?" He stroked the horse's neck. She looked at him as if to say, "Of course I can, silly human."

It didn't take them long to get back to the ranch. That same girl, who was not quite so flustered anymore, took Dancer and promised to take care of her properly. Jim helped Blair down and then took him back to their room.

He took his shower with Jim hovering anxiously by the bathroom door, listening for any signs of trouble. He finally emerged wrapped in a terry robe a couple of sizes too big, with his hair wet and dripping. He was still pale, causing the bruises on his face stood out in shades of purple.

Jim watched him crawl into bed before apologetically taking a very fast shower himself. When he emerged with a towel around his own waist, Blair was sitting up with his laptop, working busily.

He slid in beside him, letting his towel loosen. Blair, feeling the bed move, turned to him and smiled. He closed the computer and put it aside. Then he gathered Jim up in his arms as he'd done the night before.

Jim sighed as he nuzzled into Blair's damp, clean chest hair. Blair responded by stroking Jim's back. Jim found himself purring like a contented cat. Then Blair kissed him, as softly and gently as he could, on his forehead, and every muscle in Jim's body reacted.

He looked up at that lovely face. The expression was intoxicating - a mixture of love, and desire overwhelming pain and some small fear.

"Chief? Are you all right?"

For an answer, Blair bent his head and kissed him thoroughly, deeply, his tongue exploring areas of Jim's mouth that not even he'd ever touched. Then as he pulled away and they were both gasping, he neatly flipped Jim over.

"I'm very all right." His eyes widened. The towel was long gone. Jim lay exposed to his view in the afternoon sun. He reached out a tentative hand to stroke Jim's side, his stomach, his hips. "I never realized...you are the most beautiful man I've ever seen...James." Blair's rich voice had become husky with desire. Jim felt himself responding to all it - the touch, the voice, the fact that Blair was looking at him, the name. The name no one ever used.

He shivered in anticipation. Blair smiled and let the robe slide off his shoulders. He was bruised on his chest, too. Jim raised a hand to touch one of the angry purple areas, but Blair shook his head once. He let his hand drop down to the bed. Blair's smile deepened. He began to trace a line down the center of Jim's body, stopping just short of his groin.

"What can I do to you, James?"

Jim had to fight to find his voice. "Anything." All that came out was a hoarse whisper.

Blair sat back on his heels at that. "Are you sure? This...I'm scared."

Jim leaned on his elbows. "Don't be. This is...whatever you do will be right. I know it. Angel."

Blair's eyes widened and he smiled. "Not as angelic as you think." Then Blair was on him, nuzzling and licking and kissing, sometimes so softly and gently Jim wanted to scream, sometimes rough and demanding enough to make him moan instead, but always in ways that kept him off balance and on the edge. And, maddeningly, he still wouldn't let Jim touch him.

"Angel...please...."

"Please what, James? What do you want me to do?" Blair began stroking Jim's erection, his eyes gleaming with mischief.

"Want you...want you...to...oh, yes..."

"Ah. You want me to do this..." He pulled at Jim a little harder, making him groan louder. "Or this?" He bent and began to lick everything between Jim's legs, turning him into a pile of jelly with one hard point. "Or, maybe, this...." Blair rubbed his fingers in the pre-ejaculate and reached between Jim's legs and began to rub them *there*. Oh, God, it had been so long...and Blair knew exactly what he was doing. Jim jumped at his touch and then settled down. It wasn't enough.

He could no longer speak. He could only look at Blair with longing eyes. He changed his position, resting his head on a pile of pillows while bending his knees and opening his legs wide. Blair's grin was wide and proprietary, and Jim could smell the heights of his arousal. Knowing Blair was looking him like that only inflamed him more. He was convinced a touch would send him over.

He was wrong, because Blair kept touching him with his graceful hands and clever tongue, because he was still ready when Blair prepared him and even more so when, sheathed in the latex he'd found in a night table drawer, Blair entered him.

And he roared his pleasure and his delight. Blair was inside of him, claiming him, owning him, taking what had been his for years, and it was better than any dream. And now, he was moving, faster and faster and Jim picked up the rhythm and they kept moving and Blair found Jim's erection again. His world was filled with Blair - in side and surrounding him, his taste, his touch, his scent, the sight of his beautiful, bruised, sweaty face, the sound of his harsh panting - Blair was everything and all Jim would ever need.

And as he thought that, as Blair hit his prostate with every movement, as his senses began to combine and recombine until he was tasting sounds and seeing odors, everything exploded and he fell back on the bed, Blair still inside of him, but moving rapidly to his own completion, shouting as it came.

The two lay in a tangle of limbs and semen, exhausted and sated, until the bedside phone rang.

With an effort, Jim answered it with a normal voice. "Ellison. Dinner? Up here? Yes, please. Whatever you make is fine, just take it real easy on the spices. Okay. Ten minutes?" He glanced at Blair, who shrugged and reached for Jim's discarded towel. "No problem. Thank you."

Ten minutes later, they had the worst wiped out and were dressed in sweats, just in time for the knock on the door.

Dinner was fried chicken and fixings, which suited both just fine right then.

As they ate, Jim summoned the courage to ask Blair the question that had been nagging him.

"Chief, you knew what to do today."

Blair swallowed his food, shrugging. "Yeah."

"How? I mean, you said you've never...with a man."

"I haven't. But I've dated some interesting women." He grinned. Jim grinned back and Blair changed the subject to more general things.

They polished off the huge servings, put the tray outside their door as the servant had asked, and went back to bed. They fell asleep in each other's arms, Jim's head once again resting on Blair's chest.

********

Things at the ranch got a little chaotic for the next few days. More and more guests came pouring in, local and federal officers poked their noses everywhere and Scotty had to run the ranch himself until he found a replacement for his foreman and his assistant - not to mention the wedding itself.

Jim and Blair spent the days helping as best they could and enjoying it immensely. Blair ended up on the wedding team, holding Marian's hand and helping her make decisions that a day or so earlier would not have bothered her at all. Jim helped with the horses and even took over some of the foreman duties. He also helped with the investigation, but mostly he stayed out of their way.

They made time for a ride each afternoon, which was the only time other than meals and bedtime that they saw each other.

Blair stood by as he curried Dancer the afternoon before the wedding day.

"You're really falling in love with her, aren't you?"

"I'm in love with *you*, Angel." But he did bite his lip as she leaned into his brushing.

"I wish we could keep her, James. Maybe your dad could....you said he kept horses."

"We have no place for her, and no way to get her to Cascade. The best I can do is to persuade Scotty to sell her to someone into dressage so she can have proper care and training. She should be in shows." He gave her once last pat and a bit of carrot, and taking Blair's hand, left the barn for the last time.

***********

"Jim, Blair...can I see you in my office?"

The two men handed their horses back to the grooms and followed Scott into his trailer. He motioned them to seats.

"Guys, I've heard from the sheriff. Bob and Jerry have been using my place as a drug drop off for years." There was no mistaking the anger on Scotty's face. "That cave was one of several sites. It was just bad luck you stumbled on to it."

"What's going to happen?"

"They were arraigned and pled guilty. It's all over but the sentencing. They found several million dollars worth of drugs on *my* property, and those bastards were going to kill Marian and Blair for a paltry 100 grand. I hope they rot."

Jim echoed his sentiment, with feeling.

***********

The wedding was perfect. The day dawned bright and beautiful. Jim and Blair pitched in with the rest of the ranch to decorate the fields for the morning ceremony and then changed to the clean cowboy shirts and riding jeans that Scott and Marian had declared official wedding garb.

It was beautiful. Marian, wearing a white cowgirl dress and ten gallon hat, was escorted by her proud and happy father to her equally proud and happy groom. The minister said the appropriate words. The couple would have added their own but Marian refused at the last minute. They kissed, and walked back down an honor guard of friends and family to their house, where lunch was served in the yard.

The cooks out did themselves, and the local band kept them hopping. Everyone was happy and smiling, eating and dancing. At first, Jim and Blair danced with unattached or older women, which got both their butts pinched. Jim also asked the ranchhand who'd helped him find the perps, and she giggled and blushed throughout the dance.

Both claimed dances with the bride, whom no else noticed was quiet and subdued, even as her eyes sparkled with joy when she looked at Scott. Blair was also not quite as *alive* as he normally was, but only someone who knew Blair well would even see that. Jim knew Blair would bounce back; he hoped Marian would, or that she would get help.

They danced the last dance, a waltz, together, at Scott and Marian's insistence. Blair felt wonderful in his arms. He knew his partner was graceful; he didn't know they would move to the music like one person. They took turns leading each other around the floor, and were almost able to forget the stares they were getting.

Afterwards, when the happy couple had ridden away for a shortened honeymoon, and everyone had helped clean up, they went for a walk.

By silent, mutual consent, they walked away from *that* cave, and towards a vista of the Colorado mountains. It glowed red in the light of the setting sun, and in its light, Blair, fading bruises and all, looked more beautiful than Jim would have thought anyone could. His dark curls were a fiery halo to his angelic face.

He brushed back a wayward strand so he could see that face more clearly. Blair trembled at his touch. "I don't want this to end."

"It won't, Chief. I promise."

Blair bit his lip. "It will end. Tomorrow, when we get back to Cascade and the PD and the university and real life, it will end. This was...a sweet vacation."

Jim touched a yellowing patch. "Not so sweet. Things will change, but they will not end. I've waited this long for us to be us, I'm not going to give you up. We'll face Simon and everyone else."

"Will we tell them, Jim?"

"We'll take it as it comes. I want to take out a billboard. 'Jim loves Blair!'" Blair laughed. He hadn't done much of that in the past couple of days. Jim smiled. "But I think it'll be more, if they ask, we'll tell and we won't try to hide it. These damn senses are a big enough secret. Deal?"

"If you say so, James."

"I love you, Blair."

"I love you." Jim gathered his lover into his arms and kissed him as the sun sank beneath the mountains.

************ Epilogue

"Ellison."

"Jim, this is Scotty. Take a look out your window."

Jim frowned and gestured to Blair to come with him. They looked down, and there was a horse trailer, and next to it was a beautiful chocolate brown mare with a white star on her forehead.

"Scotty...what the hell?"

"I'm giving you Dancer, Jim. No arguments. I've paid for the first year's training and stabling. You can take care of the rest from her winnings."

"I can't..."

"She won't let anyone else ride her. She's *your* horse, and anyway, I owe you for Marian. Take her."

"You talked me into it. How is Marian?"

"She's seeing a therapist, and it's done wonders. Blair's all right?"

"Nothing keeps him down. He's bouncing right now. Scotty, come down any time and see her...and us."

"Will do. You guys ever have a wedding or a commitment or something, call us, okay?"

"We will."

They said their good-byes, and Jim went down stairs to greet the horse that helped give him his dearest wish.

The End

Copyright 1999 Debra Fran Baker and NightRoads Associates

Copyright 2001 Debra Fran Baker and NightRoads Associates

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