He led them to a great room just off the kitchen. It was filled with four long tables, three parallel and one perpendicular across the top. There were already people sitting down and talking. Jim, who was starving, could smell each and every item on the menu and had to expend great effort not to drool. Bob grinned at him and indicated a pair of seats at the top table. "You two sit there, near Scott and Marian."
The couple waved to them as they approached, with Bob close behind, to sit on their other side. Blair blinked at the arrangement.
"Oh, man. Scott, you could be the lord of the manor."
Scott grinned. "It does look that way, doesn't it? But *these* 'serfs' are here of their own free will, can leave if they find something better and have a decent benefit package. Right, Bob?"
"Yes, my lord. Anything you say, my lord." To Jim's surprise, Bob kept a straight face. On the other hand, Marian and Scott were hysterical.People began to stream out of the kitchen carrying enormous bowls of salad and pitchers and carafes of dressing. They placed these all along the tables and took their own places with everyone else.
"We grow most of our own produce. There is no way you could get a fresher salad." Scott piled his plate high and doused it with dressing.
While Blair happily demolished several platesful, Jim and Scott spent as much time reminiscing as they did eating. Several times, they managed to get both Blair and Marian laughing. Bob remained taciturn, as did others at the "high" table.
When the bowls and pitchers were empty, the servers jumped up and cleared things away. Almost immediately, some returned with big dishes of cooked vegetables and baskets of breads. Others conducted a poll to find out how people wanted their steaks. When one got to the head table, Scott and Marian both opted for well-done, but Jim asked for blood rare and Blair for medium rare. The server looked surprised at this, but nodded anyway.
The steak, when it arrived, was perfect - seared on the outside and almost cold on the inside. He ignored the looks of disgust from either side and dug in.
"This is incredible, Scott!"
"You should try it cooked some day, Jim. This is from our herds, of course. We have free range beef cattle and buffalo out there, and it turns a nice profit."
Jim continued to chat with their host and hostess as he wolfed down as much good, hearty ranch cooking as he could between words. Blair, on the other hand, was uncharacteristically silent. He played with his vegetables and ate about half his steak before pushing it away. Even when the parade of servers brought on dessert - several choices of pies and cakes, plus homecranked ice cream - Blair barely touched it.
Part of it had to be the stares they were getting. Despite his own hopes for the evening, Jim was seriously considered telling Scott the truth and getting Blair his own room. The problem was, he and Blair both knew that that wouldn't stop the talk.
The other part...was Blair worried about this night? He had no reason to be, but the human mind is a strange thing, and the Sandburg one was stranger than most.
"Jim, is something wrong with your...friend?" Marian peered over both Scott and Jim to look at Blair.
"It was a difficult trip and a longish day. Everything was just wonderful, Marian. Should I compliment your chef?"
Scott grinned. "Cookie'll be pleased to hear it. I'll pass it along to him. Why don't you get...him to bed? Breakfast is at six for hands and seven for slugabeds like Marian. After that, you have to go to the kitchen and beg."
Jim nodded. "I wouldn't miss it."
"Great. Come on down to the stables afterwards, and we'll fix the two of you up with mounts."
Blair frowned. "Mounts? Like in horses? You're not getting me on any horse."
Scott and Marian looked at each other. "You've never ridden? Ever?"
Blair was taken aback. "Why is that surprising? Lots of people never rode a horse."
"We'll take care of that, honey." Marian smiled. "Ol' Kris'll make a rider out of you in no time. You just come out to the horse barn with Jim and we'll get you set up right." Blair shook his head vehemently.
"Chief, we'll talk about that in the morning. Let's get back to...the room. We're getting up early tomorrow."
Blair nodded and pushed himself away from the table. He thanked their hosts and shook hands with them. Jim noticed that he really did look tired. Maybe they should postpone that talk a little longer and just sleep this night.
"Think you can find your way back to your room alone?" Bob smiled slowly from the other side of Marian.
Jim nodded. "I left a trail of bread crumbs. We'll be fine."
It didn't take long to climb the two flights of stairs and find the big corner room. As soon as they were inside, Blair grabbed something from the dresser and disappeared inside the bathroom. A few minutes later he emerged, looking all too cuddly in ratty old sweats.
Jim, who had seated himself, still dressed, cross-legged on the bed, smiled. "Want to join me, Chief?"
"Ummm..." Blair bit his lip and sat on the same chair he'd been in earlier.
"Chief? What's wrong?"
"Oh, man. Jim, I think I gave you *entirely* the wrong message earlier."
Jim grew chilled. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, like, when I was laughing and all that?"
"Yeah..."
"I...I gave you the idea that I might be attracted to you, right? I mean, I've been worried about that all night."
"You mean..." This was a mistake. This had to be a mistake.
"I mean, man, I'm pretty well on the straight side of the curve, you know? I got nothing about appreciating a male form...and believe me, Jim, you are the most appreciable male form I know...but..."
"Damn. Ummm, Blair..."
"Look, I figured you were on the gay side of bi a long time ago. I just didn't...you *like* me?"
"More than like you, Chief." Jim knew he was watching everything crumble away.
"I mean...I'm such a dork. I've seen the guys you hang with in the gym...just like you."
"Don't...you are..." He wanted to say "adorable." He wanted to say "cute." He wanted to say "beautiful." "Just fine, Sandburg. Put you with those guys and no one would notice *them*. Or me."
"Jim...oh, God. You..."
"I'm going to find Scott right now and explain the mistake and ask for another room."
"Jim?"
"And...Blair, when we get home..." He couldn't live without Blair.
"You're asking me to leave."
"No! I just want you to know that...that I'll never do anything you don't want. Ever."
Even if it killed him.
"I...I don't understand."
"Sand...Blair...this is probably the stupidest thing I've ever said. I know you don't return it, but you need to know it. I love you. I'm *in* love with you."
Blair sat back in his chair. "Oh, God. Jim...Jim, I love you, too. Just not in *that* way. I mean, there's nothing wrong...I'm...oh, God. I'm sorry. What a total mess!"
"I'm sorry. I meant what I said. I'll go find Scott now." He uncrossed his legs and sat on the edge of the bed, looking for his boots.
"Don't. Everyone will just think we had a lover's quarrel." Blair got up from his chair and walked to the bed. He knelt by Jim. "I know you. You wouldn't break your word to save your life."
"Not as far as you're concerned." He looked as deeply into those wise gentle eyes as he could. Blair looked back and smiled. "If it were possible, you'd be my life. As it is...having you for a best friend and partner is...a gift by itself. One I will not take the chance of losing." Never, my angel. "So, this subject is now closed. The next subject...getting Blair Sandburg on a horse."
"No way, man! You are *not* getting me on a horse." Blair leaned back on his heels, looking decidedly relieved at the change in subject.
"It'll be fine. There is no better way to see this countryside than on horseback. Besides, I'm sure that Scott has the right horse for you."
"Right. I'm going to fall and break something I'd rather not break."
Jim had to grin. "So? I'll catch you. Come on, Sandburg. I promise you, it's safer than a helicopter or jumping off a cliff."
"Once. I'll do it once. Okay?"
"That's all I ask, Sandburg."
Blair nodded, once, and stood up. He found his backpack and took out a book, then straightened and considered. He nodded again, as if to himself and walked to the other side of the bed, and got under the covers. He then opened his book and started to read.
Jim smiled a little, knowing that Blair couldn't see him. He got out a pair of pajama pants and an old t-shirt and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and change. He knew that unless things changed, things would not be casual between them for a long time.
He found his own book - a collection of essays he'd been wanting to read for awhile - and settled next to Blair, pretending not to notice he was close enough to touch.
For a long time, the room was silent except for the sound of turning pages. At one point, Blair got up to find a notebook and pen to jot something down. Eventually, the stresses of the day, between traveling and emotions, got the better of them and first one then the other turned off their lights and settled down to sleep.
Or at least, to pretend to sleep. Jim could only think about the man lying forever out of reach next to him. It would be a long night...and judging from Blair's breathing patterns, it would be just as long for him.
********************
He was wrong. Hours later, Jim opened his eyes to see the full moon streaming into the room through those western windows. It outlined Blair's hair in silver as he sat sleeping in the armchair, wrapped up in a blanket. For some reason, Jim checked the other side of the bed. It was empty.
Jim was surprised at how much it hurt to see him there. When had he decided to sleep elsewhere? What had happened to chase him away? And would he never get the chance to watch Blair sleep on the bed beside him instead of dozing on the couch or napping during stakeouts? Would he get those again, either?
Even backlit by moonlight, maybe especially backlit by moonlight, Blair was beautiful. Jim wondered if he'd ever get the chance to tell him that. He got up and quietly used the bathroom, taking care not to disturb his partner, and then curled himself around a pillow to try to sleep some more.
*****************
"Jim, Jim, wake up! Jim!"
Blair's voice. Morning.
"You're up already, Chief?" Blair was sitting on the bed, already dressed in his normal jeans and layers, his damp hair pulled back neatly.
"Yeah. New place...had a hard time sleeping." The blanket was gone. There was no evidence that Blair had spent most of the night in a chair. Jim wondered if he'd dreamed it.
"Sandburg, if you were uncomfortable, I'm sure we can get Scott to change the room."
"No! I mean, don't worry about it. I'll be fine. Hey, Jim...I know it's really early, but I don't feel like begging for breakfast this morning. It's getting on to seven. Want to get ready?"
"Good idea." He took his clothes into the bathroom as casually as he could and ten minutes later, emerged showered, shaved and dressed in the tightest jeans he owned. He sat down on the bed with some difficulty and pulled on his boots. Blair watched him bemusedly.
"Can you breathe in those, Jim?"
"Just about." He grunted with effort. "These are the closest thing to riding breeches I could bring with me." He stood up. Blair's eyes bulged a bit.
*Not interested in guys, Chief?* He was wearing the jeans for riding purposes, but it seems they had side benefits.
"Jim...you wear those and we'll never stop those rumors."
"Sandburg, there is nothing I could wear that will stop those rumors. Face it, Casanova. You'll never pick a girl this trip."
"Are you kidding?" Blair grinned. "Now I'm a challenge. Can they use their feminine wiles to bring me to the light?"
Jim fought down the jealousy. It was surprisingly hard, despite all the practice he'd had. "Get dressed, Chief."
"It...oh, God. Jim...I'm sorry. Tell you what...I'll just try to learn to ride this trip, okay?"
Jim nodded. They found their way back to the great room in time to eat breakfast with other "late risers." A server put a platter of huevos rancheros in front of them and indicated a thermos carafe of coffee.
Blair took a helping of the eggs and carefully tasted them. He shook his head, and caught the server's eye. "*Mi amigo necessita huevos fritos, sin salsa. (?)Es possible?*" The server looked at Blair and smiled.
"*Si, senor. Diez minutos, (?)bien?*"
"*Bien.*"
The server walked off to the kitchen as Blair took muffins from the basket in front of him. "You can start on this."
"Is it really that spicy, Chief?"
"Trust me, Jim. It's barely at my level of tolerance. I'm surprised you can't smell it."
Jim concentrated slightly. Oh, yeah. It hurt even to breathe it. "Damn. It looks so good. I used love huevos rancheros."
"I'll make some you *can* eat when we get back, okay?" Blair flashed him a bright smile.
"You'll still be there? Home, I mean?"
Jim tried to keep the desperation out of his voice.
Blair looked at him. "I'm not going anywhere. You'll have to throw me out if you want me gone."
Jim couldn't help smiling. Before he could reply, the server appeared with platter of fried eggs and bacon. He thanked the server in Spanish and filled his plate happily.
They finished in silence, and made their way out of the house. Scott was out front talking to one of his men. He waved at them. "Jim! Blair! We've been waiting for you!"
They walked over. "Morning, Scotty."
"Morning, Jim. How'd you like breakfast? I had Cookie make'em extra spicy, the way you like'em."
He exchanged glances with Blair. "Ummm, Scotty..."
"They were *great*, Scott. But...you know police work. Stressful. So..." Blair winked.
"Oh...sorry. Shoulda thought. Okay, we'll reduce the fire from now on. Anyway, boys, this is Rick Sontag. He's my head groom."
"I hear you ride some, Mr. Ellison."
"Jim. I did, when I was younger. Even did some shows. But I've only been on a horse a couple of times in the last ten years, Mr. Sontag."
"I think we can make you happy. And your...buddy here..."
"I've never ridden a day in my life, Rick." Blair's grin outshone the sun.
Rick grinned back. "I have just the mount for you." He turned to Scott. "I'm gonna give'em Ol'Kris. If he can't teach him to ride, he's hopeless."
Scott laughed. "You got *that* right." He led them to the horse barn, Jim hefting the bag with his saddle. There were a number of horses out front. One was a big fat chestnut gelding with one white foot, already saddled and ready. Jim grinned as his reluctant partner was led to meet him. Rick even dug into his pocket and produced a bit of sugar. Blair made a face as the horse licked it from his hand.
Jim would have liked to watch more, but Scott was propelling him to the other horses. "I figured you would want your choice, Jim. These are among our best riders. Take your pick."
They were an impressive lot. Jim could see that right away, but there was one which caught his eye immediately.
She was a tall, elegant chocolate brown mare with beautiful conformation and a fiery eye. There seemed power to spare in her long legs, but she moved as if she were dancing. "I think I'm in love, Scott. You got an apple or something?"
He took the piece of fruit and walked up the horse. She took it eagerly. "Hello, pretty lady. What's your name? You want to dance?" He petted her nose gently.
"You're supposed to be riding her, not dating her, Jim."
"What's the difference? And what's her name?"
Scott chuckled. "If you can't tell the difference, no..." He coughed. "Her name's Riverwind's Dancing Lady. Dancer. She's a beauty, all right. She's also one of our more difficult rides."
Jim wasn't surprised. "This lady was not trained for your type of riders. Isn't that right, pretty girl?" He took his own saddle out of the bag. He'd purchased years ago, when he'd done some riding in college. It was more than he could afford at the time, but it was worth it...a supple black leather beauty that fit him perfectly and let him *feel* the horse under him.
The ranch hands stared at it. "What is that thing? A sidesaddle?"
"Nah. It's for dresSAGE. It's a wonder he's not wearin' them fancy white pants, too."
"Or that fancy helmet, neither."