"Tim! It's been a long time. Who's this?"

"Chris Rawls, this is Blair Sandburg. He's from Cascade."

Chris held out his hand. "Hi. Welcome to Baltimore."

"Nice to meet you. This is *your* restaurant?" Blair's eyes were wide. Chris grinned at Tim.

"Yep. Jared!"

A waiter popped up. "Yes, Chris?"

"Take good care of my friend Tim and his friend tonight."

Jared nodded his dark head and led them to a table. All eyes in the predominately male crowd were on them - on Tim's date - as they passed by. Tim felt ten feet tall.

After the waiter left them with menus and water, Blair leaned close to him. "So, Tim...do you and Chris have a history?"

Tim nodded. "Actually, he was my first guy. We dated for a while, but, well...we did stay friends."

Blair smiled. "I could tell. This place is amazing."

"You're amazing, Blair."

Blair grinned and ducked his head.

The evening was even more special than Tim had imagined. They talked about everything, from sports to police work to Zen Buddhism. Blair knew everything, could speak at fascinating length about anything, his hands dancing and his eyes sparkling all the while.

"What's so odd about me being into Zen?"

"I've been hanging out with cops for a few years now. You're the first I've known who was into it. Any special reason?"

Tim took a deep breath. Sometimes what he was about to say bothered people, although he couldn't see how it could possibly bother this man. "I...well, I died a few months ago. It was an incredibly profound experience."

Blair became very quiet, and he nodded. "I know. This is not going to sound believable, man, but I had the same experience. It changes everything."

While Jared served them coffee and dessert, they compared notes. Blair's story of drowning and rebirth was very different than his of being shot and having surgery. He also seemed to be leaving things out, such as why the woman tried to kill him and what exactly Ellison's role was. Tim decided to respect that...for now.

"Everything's different now, isn't it? The way things look, the way they taste, smell...feel." Tim began to stroke the blue silk covering Blair's arm.

Blair shivered. He touched Tim's face. "Everything's...magnified, almost as though our senses were...enhanced...I want to know everything, do everything, and I want to do it tonight with you."

**********

"You're spending the night there? Okay, Chief. Thanks for calling." Jim barely restrained himself from banging the hotel phone down.

He could hear Bayliss' laughter clearly. They were laughing, they were having fun. Together. And here he was in this hotel room, all alone.

*Real brilliant, Jimmy. You had a chance but you just let it go.*

He got into bed and channel surfed for a while, but all he could think about was Sandburg and Bayliss. Finally, he gave up and turned off the set and the lights.

*What do you see in him, Chief? God knows I know what he sees in you. The guy started oozing lust the moment he saw you. What is he doing with you now?*

He could see them. He knew.

There was Bayliss reverently undressing Sandburg, caressing him with those sensitive hands, those sensitive eyes. And there was Sandburg, naked and perfect, in the image he'd built from the rare glimpses he'd been granted all those years.

And Bayliss was on his knees in front of Sandburg, himself shamelessly naked. And Sandburg was allowing Bayliss to take him in his mouth.

Jim groped for his own penis in the dark and began to stroke.

*********

"You're insane, Timmy!" Blair could hardly speak through his laughter as they tussled together on Tim's bed.

"Yep."

"A coffin is just too morbid...and *stop* tickling me." He was trying to tickle back, but Tim wasn't having any of it.

"Uh-uh...I can give, but no one can tickle me. And it was morbid, but it was also a major kick. But I can't afford one anyway. So we just have a plain ordinary bed. Stop that! Those are my toes!"

"Hmm-hmmm. And I'll bet you're ticklish here!"

Tim laughed. "Nope, not even there."

"Then I'd better find some place that is." Oh, God, Blair was licking him...on his feet, behind his knees, between his thighs. Tim finally let go when Blair pushed him on his stomach and began to rim him in earnest.

"Oh, God, oh, no...Blair, you aren't..."

"Yep. Just relax, Tim...you're in for a ride..." And that tongue went back to work as Tim writhed on the bed.

**********

Jim was hard as a rock as those images swam in his mind.

Candles. That room would be lit by candles. Sandburg would glow by candlelight. He'd seen it...like an angel. *His* angel, who was being touched by another man.

Sandburg was pulling Bayliss to his feet now, and devouring his mouth. Jim could feel those full lips on his, could taste his mouth. He knew how Blair's arms felt. He felt them now...strong and gentle and always supportive.

No, it was Bayliss in his arms and they were kissing harder and harder.

**********

"Why are the lights so bright in here?"

Bayliss, who was currently exploring Blair's chest with his own tongue, looked up. "I like to see who and what I'm doing or being done by."

"Oh...that feels soo nice...makes sense to me...Oh, yes..."

"MMM, sensitive nipples..."

"Yeaahhhh...let's see what I can find...oh, yes..."

Tim gave a little jerk as Blair touched his testicles.

"Little sensitive..."

"You little..."

"Who you calling little?" Blair was quivering with repressed laughter.

"Not you, Blair. You are anything *but* little...look at that monster."

"All for you, Timmy, all for you."

**********

Bayliss was lying on the bed, surrounded by those candles, face down, faceless. And there was Sandburg erect and ready for him. He had scented oils in his hand, and he was preparing his supplicant.

Jim stroked himself harder as he imagined Bayliss/himself being filled with oil, being stretched by that strong, knowing hand.

***********

"Lube and condoms are in the night table."

"Got'em. Timmy...purple? Where did you get purple condoms? And flavored lube?"

"I have friends in Vice." Both were laughing again. Hearing that rich laughter only made Tim more aroused.

"I'll bet you do. Okay, Mr. Vice, lay back and let me have at you."

"My pleasure."

"It will be."

Tim lay back on his pillows and spread his legs. Blair was still laughing at the flavored lube, but he was also gentle and thorough as he got Tim ready - and Tim was very ready. He moved against Blair's invading fingers as they stretched and filled him, moaning instead of laughing.

********

Jim moaned as his hand moved faster on his shaft.

The Sandburg in his mind was coating himself with the oil. Now he was kneeling behind the faceless man in the bed.

Now he was entering him, burying himself deeply in the other man, and moving, faster and faster and faster, harder...to the rhythm of Jim's hand...

**********

Blair rolled on the purple condom and lubed himself. Before Tim could tense, Blair was at him and then pushing inside, gently but insistently. Oh, God...he'd never been so filled...

He knew how to move, and he knew where to go...oh...God, that was the spot. He moaned out loud.

"Like it? You'll like this more..." And Blair began to move faster, reaching in front to grab Tim's penis and pulling it to the same beat...

Faster...faster...faster...

*******

Harder...faster...Jim's hand moved...the dream Sandburg gasped as Jim exploded over the bed and himself.....

**********

"ohhh, Blair..."

"Timmm....oh...God...oh....."

********

Jim cleaned himself up. It was so clear to him now, now when he probably lost him, how he felt about Blair.

*Truly an idiot, Jimmy. Now what are you going to do?*

Not really thinking, he picked up Blair's discarded T-shirt and wrapped it around one of the pillows on the other bed. He curled himself around them as the best Blair approximation he could get.

*Not just an idiot. Pathetic, too.*

With that cheering thought, he drifted into a restless sleep.

**********

"This is one of those times I really miss smoking, you know?"

Blair, who was lying on his side and idly stroking Tim's chest, smiled. "I wouldn't know. The stuff I smoked...well, I gave that up before I started hanging around a cop. This was so good, Timmy."

Tim stroked the soft curls again. "Yeah. It was. I haven't had so much fun in a long time...sex can be such a serious business."

"Timmy..." Blair stopped smiling.

"You don't have to tell me. I know. I could tell, you know."

"He wasn't here. I was with *you* all the time. I never closed my eyes."

"I know. Your mind was here, and your body was very, wonderfully here...and at least part of your heart. But not your soul."

"I'm sorry."

Tim shook his head. "I knew it coming in. It was fun, Blair, and that's what I wanted tonight. Fun." He leaned over and kissed him gently, and then turned off the lights.

Blair gathered Tim into his arms and they both fell asleep.

******

Blair looked *good* in Tim's shirt. Oh, it was too big for him, but that didn't matter. They'd decided that the blue silk was just not right for work.

Ellison, who didn't look too bad himself in a sweater and khakis, seemed to notice the same thing. And he didn't look happy about it.

*Tough, Ellison. You'll have him for the rest of your life, if you only get a clue. Let me have this little piece until I find someone who loves me as much as he loves you, you blind idiot.*

"Hey, Ellison, why are we standing here in plain sight of this building?"

"Because, Bayliss, I've narrowed the suspects down to a couple of men, and neither will be skulking in. This way I can see them coming."

Bayliss blinked. "If you had an idea of who it could be, why didn't you say so last night?"

"Because I didn't know until this morning, when I called to find out which of our odder bombers were out of town. Two are missing."

"Odder bombers? As opposed to your more normal ones?"

"I'll take Cascade's explosions over your murder rate, Bayliss."

The two men glared at each other over Blair's head.

"Guys...guys...hey, Jim...is that a Jags jacket coming this way?"

"Guys...guys...hey, Jim...is that a Jags jacket coming this way?"

Tim could barely make out the distinctive colors. He noticed Blair was also rubbing his eyes under his glasses.

"Chief! It's Heshy."

"What's Heshy doing here?"

"Who's Heshy?"

"You'll see. I wish it weren't him. Damn." Ellison looked truly upset.

"Yeah. Heshy isn't very bright, Timmy. He's pretty much a savant for explosives. Damn. This is going to be rough on him."

Why were they feeling sorry for a bomber?

The man came into view. He was a little guy, shorter than Blair. He was wearing a Jaguar's cap to match his jacket, both of which looked new. Under them, he wore a pair of worn blue pants and an equally worn light brown plaid shirt, and brand-new sneakers.

To Tim's surprise, both Jim and Blair stayed out in plain sight. In fact, Blair waved his hand.

Heshy broke into a big smile and ran up.

"Detective Ellison! Professor Sandburg! What are you doing here?"

"We could ask you the same question, Heshy." For some reason, Ellison looked like he was sniffing Heshy's backpack.

"I'm visiting my aunt in Pikestown."

"Here for some crabcakes?" Heshy looked at Bayliss in alarm.

"Heshy doesn't eat crab, do you, man?"

"No crabs, Professor." That's right. Pikestown was where the Orthodox Jews lived.

"No crabs, Heshy, but you are here for something else. You want to make buildings go boom."

Heshy started to run, but Ellison held him easily. "Where you going, Heshy? We just found each other."

"Come on, man. Let Jim have your back pack." Heshy stood silently while Jim took the bag away from him and opened it.

"Oh, Heshy. I could hear that clock a mile away." Tim peered over Ellison's shoulder. There indeed was a clock attached to explosives. "Heshy, Heshy, Heshy. You are in such big trouble." He quickly disarmed the bomb.

"Big trouble? Why? What happened?"

Ellison and Blair looked at each other. Blair shook his head.

"Heshy, man, you hurt someone with the last bomb."

"Hurt? No, I wouldn't hurt no one. You know that, Professor. I like the boom, that's all. I didn't hurt no one!"

Blair put a hand on Heshy's shoulder. "You did, Heshy. You hurt him badly. I know you didn't mean to, but you did."

"How bad? Is he going to be okay? Professor...he's going to be okay, right?"

"He was right there when your bomb went off. Heshy...you're in big trouble. He died." Blair looked like saying that hurt him.

"No! Don't say that! I didn't kill nobody! No!"

Tim hated this, but it had to be done. "Heshy, I'm Detective Bayliss, from Baltimore Homicide. I'm a friend of Professor Sandburg...and Detective Ellison. I wouldn't be here if you hadn't."

"No! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to. I just wanted the boom. I just wanted to make a nice picture and the boom." Heshy began to cry. Blair gathered the man in his arms and let him weep on his shoulder. Tim glanced at Ellison. The look on his face was blinding. He'd rarely seen such total love.

********

Heshy had had Blair's hand in an iron grip all the way back to the station. Blair was sitting with him now in the Box while they waited for his aunt and a lawyer. When he tried to leave, Heshy got hysterical.

That left Tim alone with Ellison.

Things were damn awkward.

Finally, someone had to say something, and Tim figured it had to be him.

"He loves you."

"What?" Ellison's attention was focused on the Box.

"He loves you. And he needs to know you love him."

Ellison turned to look at Tim. "What the hell business is that of yours, Bayliss?"

"I care about Blair. God, Ellison, if I even thought I'd have a chance with him, I'd do anything...quit my job here, transfer to Cascade or Seattle or Seacouver, get a job in a security firm if I couldn't be a cop, anything."

"Are you?" Ellison's voice was dangerously low.

"Depends on you. If you wise up, I won't have that chance."

"Then why?"

"Because he'll never love anyone as much as he loves you. But, if you don't tell him this, he'll find someone who will. Maybe it would be me, maybe some other guy. Or maybe he'll find some woman. Could you stand to be best man at his wedding, Uncle Jim to his kids?"

"Blair?" That was the first time he'd heard Ellison use Sandburg's first name. "Leave me?"

"Only if you give him no other choice. Do you *like* watching him go out with all those women? Doesn't it eat you up? I promise you, if you tell him how you feel, if you let him know you love him as much as he loves you...and he loves you. His face lights up around you. Hell, it lights up when he just talks about you. If you tell him that, he will be with you forever. *I* got to sleep in his arms last night. You should have been."

Ellison's face had gone from white to red to white again, but he said nothing.

"Come with me, Ellison." He took him to the one way mirror into the box. Blair was sitting next to Heshy, unselfconsciously holding Heshy's hand and talking to him gently. Once again, Jim's face glowed. "You don't want to lose this man. Ellison...Jim, I used to have a partner. He was married and deeply in love with his wife. I had no chance with him, and I knew it, even before I realized I was bisexual. I loved this man enough to take a bullet for him, and I never had a chance with him. I think you love Blair that much and you have him. Just let him know."

"Your partner...what happened?"

"He quit. He's teaching criminal justice by day and going to law school at night. I don't see him or his family anymore. Probably for the best."

Just then, a man and a woman entered the station. The woman looked like an older and more intelligent female version of Heshy - a short, dumpy woman in a suit and a very bad wig, the man looked like a lawyer.

Tim walked up to them. "Hello. I'm Detective Bayliss."

"I'm Bina Nussbaum, Heshy's aunt. Are you the one who arrested my nephew?"

"Yes, ma'am. This is Detective Ellison from Cascade, Washington. He knows your son."

"He's not really a bad boy, you know. He never wants to hurt anyone."

"I know, ma'am. I've known Heshy for years."

"Is he alone in there? Heshy doesn't like to be alone in strange places."

"My partner is with him. He knows your nephew and he can take care of him."

She nodded.

"We'll take you in to see him now. I've spoken to the DA already, and we think we can plead diminished capacity."

"Thank you, detective."

Heshy ran straight to his aunt...like the forty-five year old child he clearly was, and Blair left with Jim.

They had one final conference with the DA and Giardello, where the lieutenant commended them on fast action and told them he would pass that along to Captain Banks, and their official involvement with Baltimore Homicide was over.

Their return flight was all too soon. They'd left the rental car at the hotel, so Tim volunteered to drive them back. Blair invited him up to their room. Turned out, he wanted to change shirts and return Tim's.

"Sorry, man. It...doesn't fit."

Tim only nodded. He offered to help the two men pack, but Ellison made it very uncomfortable. So, he took his leave, shaking Ellison's hand and kissing Blair on the cheek, with a pointed look at the other man.

*******

Blair chattered non-stop all the way to the airport. Jim barely listened to the words. He just let Blair's voice wash over him as he navigated the unfamiliar roads and thought about what Bayliss had said.

Could he stand to be the best man at Blair's wedding? Now that he knew, could he stand to see him date other men? It nearly killed him to see him with Bayliss. For that matter, could he handle all of Sandburg's women?

Bayliss was so good with words. So was Blair. *Words never work for me. I just feel like an idiot.*

But was it less idiotic to lose his Chief? Dammit, the man had wormed his way into Jim's life. Hell, he *was* his life. More than that, he was his light. Incacha had showed him that.

There was the airport. They were early and their flight was delayed somewhat because of traffic.

Even after checking in, they were in for a wait. Jim did not need this. He could at least pretend to sleep on the plane, but now he had nothing to do but sit around and think and try to talk with Sandburg.

And Sandburg kept looking at him and glowing with something. Why did he have to be so damned beautiful? And brilliant and kind and distracting?

And why did he have to love him so much and why couldn't he just *tell* him? He knew Bayliss was right in everything. And he knew how much he loved and wanted him. Why...he was just no good with words.

*Well, you are good with actions. Act, Jimmy.*

He stood up and grabbed Blair's shoulders. Miraculously, that shocked Blair to silence. He took advantage of that and, taking a deep breath, kissed those lips.

Blair stiffened for a moment, throwing Jim into sheer panic, and then relaxed totally, returning his kiss passionately.

Then he pulled back and looked straight up at him with a brilliant smile. "Love you, too, James Ellison."

Now the words came. "Love you, Ch...Blair. I love you with all my soul."

Oblivious to the stares around them, Blair held him closely. "Just wait till I get you home, James. You'll never get rid of me now."

*Thank God for that, Jimmy.*

The End

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